I have a confession: sometimes I’m possessive with my stuff. Including books.
I used to blame it on “the only child” syndrome.
I’ve always handed over a favorite book with hesitation. What if I never see it again? A few years ago, a friend gave me a personal library set. Using tools from this set, I put my name in all of my books and kept records of who had which novel from my collection.
If I didn’t see a book for a few months, I started asking questions.
But during Lent this year I realized the fault of my ways.
Awareness struck me while I was on the dreadmill, listening to Michael Hyatt’s podcast about finding margin . Michael said that many people make decisions out of fear that they might lose something, miss out, or be judged. He referenced the scarcity mentality, first introduced by Dr. Stephen Covey in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
I paused the treadmill and the podcast as I realized with horror: I had a scarcity mentality.
Twenty years ago, I read The Seven Habits. I was newly married, my Master’s Degree hung on the wall, and I thought I had it all figured out. I read Dr. Covey’s explanation of “the scarcity mentality” and thought, with scorn, of several people I knew who fit this description:
They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else. The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life.
It took two decades for me to understand that I have suffered from a limited view of the world for a long time, and in many facets of my life. It’s an anxious way to live, thinking that there isn’t enough. My possessive tendencies filled me with worry, not joy.
Thanks to Mr. Hyatt and Dr. Covey, I’m done with scarcity. This revelation has changed my perspective on parenthood, marriage, and friendships, but I’ll keep my thoughts here focused on the word nerdy realm.
Now, when fretful thoughts creep up, I remind myself that I already have or can obtain everything I need accomplish my goals. And one thing I love to do is help people find interesting things to read. I can’t do that clutching selfishly to my books.
Therefore, I’m embracing a generous literary spirit. If I can find great books to give as gifts, I’ll spend the money to do so. If I’ve got books on the shelf I haven’t touched in years, I’ll donate them to the library. I’ll hand out my beloved copy of The Help without reservation. Because encouraging people to read is more important than preserving my book collection.
Book lovers shouldn’t hoard books; we should share them.
We live in a world where Minecraft, Net Flicks, and six second videos pull attention away from books. While those forms of entertainment are ok in moderation (see, that’s the abundance talking- there’s plenty for everyone), books deserve love, too. And the best way I can spread that love is with an open hand.
How do you feel about sharing your books?
Thanks for sharing!
Julia
Click to Tweet: #Booklovers: It’s better to share #books than hoard them, via @juliatomiak
Julia- I like this post a lot. I’m a purger. It’s such a wonderful feeling to let go and share things. I enjoy that. Actually, reading your post is inspiring me to donate a few books. I have to keep the ones I truly love, however. When I want to share those, I typically purchase additional copies (used and new). Books are my favorite gift anyway so that fits perfectly! I often reread certain books and now I save books for my son. I read “Okay for Now” by Gary Schmidt last year and felt so sad when the story ended simply because I fell in love with the story and protagonist. I decided to immediately inscribe a note to my son (in the book). I’ve saved it for him and I love knowing that he’ll have that personal note with my reasons for sharing it.
I tend to buy extra copies to share as well- good point about the used book option. And I’m so glad you mentioned including a personal inscription in a book- that makes it an extra special gift!
Have you read The Wednesday Wars By Gary Schmidt? It’s kind of a prequel to Okay For Now; Doug is in it but not one of the main characters. Thanks for joining the discussion!
Yes, I own it, but have not yet read. On my long list!
Thanks for this post, Julia! I remember reading 7 Habits, but I forgot about the scarcity mentality. I’m a big fan of donating books to libraries. I do tend to hoard my author signed copies of books, but otherwise I’m pretty willing to share. (I have, however, lost a beloved DVD that way.) One more thing: I like technology because when I give out e-books, they’re automatically returned to me by a certain time.
I can see why you’d hang on to signed copies!
Help me here, Jennifer, how do you share ebooks? That’s one of my concerns about digital books- limited sharing ability. I know with Kindle you can share for two weeks. Is there another method you use? Thanks!
I usually use Kindle, too. That gives the borrower a few weeks to read it. I know I can lend via Nook as well; people have even connected with me to see what I have in my library, but I haven’t actually lent anything out to them yet.
Thanks Jennifer.
They say you should never lend a book if you want to see it again. So I don’t lend my favorite books. However, whenever I think I won’t read a certain book again, I give it away.
With my new love for simplicity, I buy less, and go to the library more. I already have 2 full walls of bookshelves, and that’s enough!
Yes- books take up a lot of space, don’t they? And libraries are definitely more economical. And yes, there is a risk of losing a beloved book- especially if it has a special signature or inscription. But usually, we can find another copy to share somewhere, right? 😉
Julia, you are a woman after my own heart! I love everything about this post. I used to feel the same way and wanted my books lined up in perfect, pristine order on my bookshelf. Now I realize that passing them along is the best gift to others and to myself. I recently sent a few beloved books to a bloggy buddy with the instruction to pass them along when she finished. It makes me feel great to know this simple act will bring joy to others. Having said all that, is it ok if I hoard some of my favorite children’s books? I want to keep them for my grandchildren some day. I love my that MIL has books for our girls when they visit. I promise I’ll donate most of them to libraries or preschool programs. I just want to hang on to our favorites.
Of course you should keep those favorites! Maybe remember the titles- they’ll make great gifts!