I have been blessed with four voracious readers. Their reading habits have earned them near notoriety in our small town. And when people ask how my children read so many books, I often answer, “I limit their screen time.”
Don’t get me wrong. My kids love their little devices and games, especially Minecraft. The battle to curtail screen time grows more arduous as devices get smaller and more portable. When child #1 briefly uses my iPhone to “check his clan”, children #3 and #4 whine, “Can’t we have electronic time too?”
Sigh. But I won’t give up. Because when I say, “No, it’s NOT electronic time,” my children groan and then go off to pick up a book. It is their default activity.
Last week, my friend Caroline shared an awesome article from The Huffington Post called, “8 Ways Screens Are Ruining Your Family’s Life.” With a somewhat smug smile, I read through the summarized research about why kids shouldn’t sit in front of screens: decreased attention span, limited creativity, etc. I knew all this. I was a good mama.
But then I got to the reasons why screens are bad for adults. And the smug smile disappeared.
Three points struck me. Hard.
- Kids hate it when we pay attention to our screens instead of them. They see it as hypocritical that we limit their screen time, but not ours. Ouch. We should be attentive to their needs, not checking Facebook updates. I know this, and yet I’ve been guilty of holding up my finger to a child and saying, “Just a minute,” to finish a comment. (Maybe I’m not such a good mom.)
- Our spouses hate it when we pay more attention to our screens, too. See #1. Same general idea.
- Checking email / Facebook/ Twitter isn’t relaxing. Staring at a lighted, electronic screen is stimulating, not calming. Researchers suggest that when we have a few (rare, precious) moments to rest in our day, we shouldn’t scroll through Pinterest. We should sit down, take a walk, or maybe, READ!
This article came to me shortly after I read my friend Amy’s post on how she gave up television for the month of August and had more time to read and write.
I feel like someone is trying to tell me something. Like, “Put down the phone!”
So, I’ve resolved to spend less time in front of screens and more time in conscious, meaningful interaction with my family and friends. I’m also hoping to get more valuable reading done. For example, while my son got a cavity filled this morning, I read the latest issue of Writers Digest and picked up a few great tips for the manuscript I’m editing.
Social media has a place, but I need to define that place and set aside a specific time in the day for commenting on blogs and posting to Facebook. When my hubby and kids aren’t home.
My husband, ever the Devil’s Advocate (sometimes just to spite me), made this point when I shared my concerns about adult screen time: “I read more now because of my phone than I did before.” And, he does. He used to watch more T.V. So he has traded one screen for another. If the content is better, is that change an improvement?
Where do you stand on screen time? How do you set boundaries to limit screen time for yourself and your family?
Thanks for helping me out!
Julia
I love this post for at least a dozen reasons, Julia. First of all, I’m right there with you being proud that child #3 loves to read. I also love that said child loves to eat.
I’m right there with you on feeling the need to step away. I try to stay off social media on Sundays and it really does make a difference. Something else I read a while back, going along with the Huffington article, is that anytime you stop to check your statuses, it breaks the creative flow and takes x-amount-of-time (can’t remember) to get it back.
Convicting stuff!
Oh Susan, he does love to eat. Really, we all do. And I’ve heard the same thing about interruptions to the creative flow- maybe 15 minutes to get back on track? That’s too much!
Thank you for the article link – I will check it out. I am also guilty of this. Last night my husband said, “You used to talk to me more before you got your phone.” ow. I always feel like I’m getting so much more done – emails in the car, making electronic lists for the next day, but maybe I’m just doing MORE. Thanks for the reminder – I need to be PRESENT.
Me too Amy, I think I’m so on top of it. But then, do I really need to check email 12 times a day, just because I can? I would be lost without my iPhone- I love telling Siri to remind me of something- but I don’t want it to take over!
I was on a constant battle when my kids were young to enforce what I called “TV turn off week” once a month, long before the explosion of electronics since then. It felt great to find other ways to engage with the world.
It would require real resolve to manage that today given the change in our culture. Regardless of the difficulty I know it is important to encourage each other to put down the electronics and actively build loving relationships with each other. Great post. Thanks so much!
Yes, Jane, it is a huge challenge. But worth the effort. I try to limit “electronics” to the weekends, but it doesn’t always work. But we do find find ways to engage with each other and the world around us when we unplug. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
My girls are still young, so it’s very easy to limit their screen time right now. We don’t even own an iPad, although my 4 y/o uses one at preschool occasionally. But I must admit I’m very guilty of too much screen time, and I know my kids & husband hate it. Thanks for the reminder to limit my time and to try and do it when the family isn’t home, needing my attention.
Happy to share. The article really smacked me in the face. But even after I wrote the post, I have still struggled. At least now there is a little voice in my head reminding me… you need to limit your screen time.