Gaslighting – I’ve heard the term thrown around, but never understood what it meant. Apparently, I’m not alone. At the end of 2022, Merriam-Webster made gaslighting it’s word of the year. Apparently, lookups of gaslighting increased 1740% in 2022. There was high interest in the word throughout the year.
So let’s break it down – what is gaslighting, anyway?
Origin and definition
The term comes from a play called Gaslighting written in 1938. It tells the story of a man trying to make his wife believe she’s going crazy. He’s doing something secretive in the attic to make the house’s gas lights dim, but he tells her the lights aren’t dimming. He wants to convince her she can’t trust her own thoughts.
Gaslighting was first used in the mid 20th century to describe the manipulation depicted in the play. Here is the official MW definition:
psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator
Merriam-Webster
Of late, “gaslighting” is being used to refer to general deception that is part of a bigger plan and usually for personal gain. In the age if mis- and disinformation, amid the cries of “fake news”, gaslighting is used to call out perceived deception.
A perfect example
I watched an apt representation of gaslighting while binging the series The Morning Show while I was in isolation with COVID over the holidays. In the series, Steve Carell plays sexual predator Mitch Kessler. Kessler is fired from The Morning Show after allegations of sexual misconduct emerge.
In the episode called “Lonely at the Top,” we watch Kessler manipulate a young junior booker into sexual relations. In a later episode, we see the girl confront Kessler about that night. She says, “I don’t remember it the way you do.” Kessler responds with anger and self-righteous vigor, accusing her of using him for a promotion. Ha! Gaslighting at it’s finest. And, to the show’s credit, we see the catastrophic impact on the young victim.
Now that I understand the term better, I am sad to realize a few people I love have been victims of gaslighting. It’s important to know what gaslighting means, and even more important to perceive when it is happening, especially in the current environment when disinformation and misinformation run rampant.
What terms from pop culture or social media are you curious about? Please share in the comments!
Happy New Year!
Thanks for getting nerdy with me!
