Yesterday, a guy flicked me off while I was driving home from my son’s high school. I was at a stop sign, at the end of a road that intersects at an odd angle with another curvy rural back road. While waiting for an oncoming truck to pass, I started to edge forward into the intersection. The truck approaching the intersection swerved a bit before passing by in front of me. As the truck drove through the intersection, its driver gave me a clear view of his middle finger.
“Well, that was unnecessary,” I said. Normal me would have had much more to say to the back end of that truck as it left the intersection. But lately, I’ve been re-evaluating normal me. Three things have caused some serious reflection lately.
First, it was a sermon from Dr. Scott Dudley, pastor at BelPres Church. Dudley said, “These days, Christians are just another special interest group, and they are angry like everyone else.” Ouch. That stuck with me. My faith shouldn’t just put me in a special interest category. It should influence the way I live. And anger is not a tenet of the Christian faith.
Then it was a comment Kelly Corrigan shared on a recent Friday “For the Good of the Order” podcast. (Oh, GOTO is so, so good, and it’s usually ten minutes or less. Please check it out.) In the episode “The Link Between Belief and Progress”, she shares a comment one of her followers, Megan, made on social media:
Tempering one’s anger or frustration matters. Each time we interact- by phone, by video, through a plastic screen or mask- the tone and tenor of our words and requests make a difference in the energy circulating throughout this country.
Megan
Wow. Isn’t that beautiful? Megan’s comment resonated with me and now is in the back of my mind every day as I shop for groceries and visit the post office. And as I respond to a man in a truck who flicks me off on Petunia Road.
Finally, I am currently reading The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World. It’s a collection of conversations between two spiritual giants- the current Dalai Lama and the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu. These men have much to say on finding joy, living compassion, and managing adversity. All with immense peace, grace, and humility. They point out that anger usually stems from fear or pain or both, and that we could ease conflict in the world by remembering that more often. They believe we all need to do a better job of seeing the world from multiple perspectives and to think less of ourselves and more of the collective community.
What are ways that you‘ve seen or heard to create more kindness and less anger?
Wishing you a very happy weekend and more grace, humility, and kindness.
Thanks for getting thoughtful with me.
I had the good fortune of being raised by a kind mother. She taught me to be kind to others, both by instruction and example. Kindness requires effort which is one reasons that it is not widely practiced. The man who flipped you off was doing the easy thing – simply reacting without considering whether his actions were justified, or even more, helpful.
Kindness requires that I step outside myself and consider the needs and wants of others and put those needs and wants ahead of my own, and such an attitude is not natural to humanity. Paul wrote, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Kindness is listed among these characteristics. But the wonderful thing to note is how all these characteristics are bound together. In fact, Paul does not refer to these characteristics as “fruits” of the Spirit but a singular “fruit.” On the one hand, we may think of love as being the chief of all of these and the source from which all the rest of them flow. But, in practical terms, we can begin with any of them, and the others begin to fall in place. If we begin purposefully acting kindly, we will notice the other characteristics begin to manifest themselves in us.
I also did a quick search of “kind” in the etymonline site, curious as to why kind is both a noun and an adjective yet seeming to have no real connection in meaning. Turns out that both go back to the Greek word root “gen,” (which also shows up in other languages with slight differences). The “gen” root refers to birth or creation (think: genesis, genetics, generate, etc.). So, the concept of “kind” as a noun is easy. But how did it become an adjective? The idea is that acting kindly means treating people as you would your own kind or “kin.”
And I was particularly taken by the quote you included: “These days, Christians are just another special interest group, and they are angry like everyone else.” That is such a powerful statement. Special interest groups are essentially self-interested, and, so far as attitudes are concerned, self-interest is the antithesis of Christ and Christianity … and kindness.
Wow, thank you. There are some lovely thoughts here- love your meditation on the fruits of the spirit, find your review of etymology of kind fascinating (and perhaps fodder for another post!), and whole heartedly agree with your belief that self-interest is the antithesis of Christ and Christianity. Thank you. 😊
I am just now seeing your response here. I am glad that what I wrote proved to be a blessing to you.
I am interested that you liked The Book of Joy. I recently read The Book of Hope with Jane Goodall and was not as happy with it as I had hoped. I will try The Book of Joy. I have found having less patience than usual lately. I’m not sure if I am just reacting to the world around me or if it is me but at least I am aware of it and try and take a step back. I like much of Kelly Corrigan’s work. The PBS show is so good. Thanks!
I find the book to be very relevant and helpful, especially these days, as it is based in compassion and broadening perspectives. I hope you try it. 😊