Improving vocabulary

Vocabulary to kick off the new year!

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

I’m older every New Year, but that doesn’t stop me from delving into the language of young people. My own kids, the teens I coach, and hip podcasters keep me informed and curious about the ever changing world of slang. If you read my work, you must love learning about language too. So let’s kick off 2024 with a few words and phrases to keep you savvy in conversations at the work place or the coffee shop. (Or, around the dinner table with your kids.)

Rizz

Rizz was Oxford Dictionary’s Word of 2023. I heard my daughter use “rizz” early in 2023 and immediately requested an explanation. Rizz came up again at cross country practice this fall, when the kids had to explain to us “old” coaches what it meant to “rizz somebody up.”

Rizz = style, charm, or attractiveness; the ability to attract a romantic or sexual partner

Oxford Languages

According to Oxford, rizz gained popularity in 2023, especially after Tom Holland used the term in an interview. The actor stated, “I have no rizz whatsoever.” I think many ladies would argue with him on that.

Rizz is short for charisma. It’s fun to say and unusual for slang term since it comes from the middle of the word, not the beginning or the end. Users turn it into a verb by saying “rizz up”, which means to chat someone up or flirt with them. When my daughter used the word, she said, “I have rizz with the grandparents.” In that case, she meant she’s good at keeping a lively conversation going with older people, including her Nana and Grandpa. 😉

Stan

Have you ever heard of “stans” or has someone accused you of “stanning” something? Beware, being called a “stan” isn’t necessarily a compliment.

Stan (noun): an extremely or excessively enthusiastic and devoted fan [slang, often disparaging];
(verb) : to exhibit fandom to an extreme or excessive degree : to be an extremely devoted and enthusiastic fan of someone or something

Merriam Webster

According to Merriam Webster, “stan” first appeared in 2000, when the rap star Eminem released a song called “Stan” about just such an enthusiastic fan. I recently heard the term on the Hard Fork podcast and was surprised the slang had been around that long.

Out of pocket

No, this isn’t about your health care expenses. (I mean technically, yes, but not in slang world.) Kids these days use “out of pocket” to describe a statement, text, or comment that is strange, rude, unexpected, or inappropriate. At dinner last night, I shared a story from my college days about going to the gym with a male friend who told me we were going to “bench press until your breasts squirt milk.” My kids cringed. “That is an awful image,” they groaned. Husband said, “That guy said some out there stuff.” Our 21-year-old noted, “That’s what we would call, ‘Out of pocket.'”

Out of pocket can also mean, “unavailable” or “out of reach.” For an interesting dive into the origins of the different meanings of “out of pocket,” influenced by Black English and a 1908 O Henry short story, read Grammar Girl’s post on the 3 Meanings of Out of Pocket.

Omnibus

Ok, this word isn’t as much about hip slang as it is about politics and another looming government shut down. Omnibus has its roots in transportation, but today I’m interested in its meaning for legislation.

omnibus: (noun ): a usually automotive public vehicle designed to carry a large number of passengers; OR : a book containing reprints of a number of works (as of a single author or on a single subject)
(adjective): of, relating to, or providing for many things at once; OR : containing or including many items, such as an omnibus bill

Merriam Webster

Make Me Smart host Kimberly Adams recently mentioned the potential for an omnibus bill as Congress attempts to hammer out some budget agreements before January 19, 2024.

According to Merriam-Webster, the noun form of omnibus first appeared in the 1820s as a French word to describe long carriages that pulled people through the streets of Paris. The adjective omnibus derives from Latin, meaning “for all.” It could also reference the noun. Merriam Webster suggests using “omnibus” to describe a legislative bill could call up images of a bus filled with a lot of different people.

How about you? What interesting terms have you come across lately! Share your knowledge so we are all more word wise in 2024!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Who I Am

Reflecting on The Good for 2024

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 0 Comment

Inspired by writer and artist Austin Kleon, I like to celebrate the turn of a new year by reflecting on all the good things that happened in the one I am finishing. I flip back through journals and photos on my phone to relive moments of joy and inspiration. I seek bright spots not only from my personal experience during the year, but also from the world in general. And I encourage you to do the same.

So here goes. Can you think of five good things that happened in your life in 2023?  If you need inspiration, here are some of mine:

  1. To help a friend, I started volunteering at Open Door Cafe, a local pay what you can restaurant that addresses food insecurity in our community. It ended up being a great way to learn more about our community, acquire skills, make new friends, and fill a need for service work. I look forward to working more in 2024!
  2. In the summer, we visited my husband’s aunt, a woman who has given her life to serving the Hispanic community of Green Bay, WI. Melanie exudes joy and generosity, and everywhere we went with her, we witnessed her positive influence on the people around her. Her obvious love of life inspired all of us.
  3. I won a tightly contested school board election. I’m grateful not only for the win, but also for the outpouring of support from friends, family,  and community members.
  4. My son moved to Alexandria, in Northern Virginia, and because of that, over the spring and summer we enjoyed visits filled with bike rides, museum wonderings, and excellent food. We also had multiple opportunities to reconnect with old friends.
A pit stop on a fun ride along the Mt. Vernon trail in NOVA.

How did you do with your list of good things? Did the ideas come quickly? Could you come up with at least five?

Let’s move on to the bigger picture. Can you think of five good things that happened in the world in 2023?  Things that were, objectively, in the eyes of most people, capital G Good. With a bit of mental digging, I came up with two thoughts. First, the exciting news that scientists have developed a successful treatment for sickle cell anemia, a disease that affects red blood cells and causes significant pain. I once treated a young patient who suffered from sickle cell anemia, and I am so happy that scientists have made this breakthrough.

Another good news story was about 35 year old man who has developed a following on Tik Tok by sharing candid videos of teaching himself to read. Oliver James graduated from high school without being able to read, and during his 20s he spent time in jail for firearms dealing. But he is turning his life around, and part of that includes inspiring others by sharing his honest and humble journey to literacy on Tik Tok.  Pretty cool! This story made the Word Nerd smile.

But after that, I couldn’t think of any more.

I consume a lot of news, and I like reading human interest stories, yet I struggled to think of another objectively “good thing” that happened in 2023. What is wrong with me? I’m sure good things happened, so why can’t I remember any? 

I’d like to blame something called “negativity bias.” This is a psychological term to describe our tendency to give more importance and weight to negative experiences than to positive or neutral ones. According to a 2019 article on Healthline.com, people have a stronger reaction to negative experiences.

Scientists think this is based on genes handed down from our ancestors. To survive, early humans had to pay attention to negative things, like predators and natural hazards. By avoiding those threats, they lived on to pass down their genes. So here we are in 2024, paying more attention to a random crime in the midwest than to stories about people serving the communities we live in.

With that in mind, I’m taking a new approach in 2024. I’m setting an intention to pay more attention to Good News stories. First, I’ll need to find them, and I can do that through sites like Reasons to Be Cheerful. Next, I can spend time thinking about them via journaling, sharing them on social media, and discussing them with friends and family. The more time I devote to Good News, the more likely I will be to remember it. And that will help me feel more hopeful and positive in general. Imagine what might happen if a lot of us did this.

How about you? Will you join me in my quest to seek out and ruminate on Good News this year? What habits do you practice to focus on The Good?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Who I Am

At Christmas, I find joy in the lights

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My friend Leslie LOVES Christmas. The music, the decorations, the gift giving, all of it. She wears Christmas tree earrings and protects her phone with a holiday case.  I do none of these things; I am the Scrooge to her Santa. Years ago, Leslie decided I needed some holiday inspiration, and she invited me to go Christmas shopping with her. A bold move as I do not like shopping, but I don’t think she realized that when she asked. Nevertheless, I went, not because of the holiday sales, but because I wanted to spend time with her. And we’ve been going every year since. Ten years into this tradition, I have learned some valuable things about myself and my friend on these trips. The best year was when I rediscovered the power of Christmas lights.

I grew up with lights on the Christmas tree like many other Americans. But I didn’t appreciate how important they were to my mood during the dark days of December until one of my trips with Leslie. While we perused the holiday section of Target, a string of blinking snowflake lights caught my eye. I picked up the box. Would they be too much? Would they seem too flashy? In a burst of Christmas spirit, I bought them.

As soon as we hung them across our family room, I knew I’d made the right choice. In the shortest days of the year, when it gets dark by five and I want to crawl in bed by six, holiday lights keep me happy. They offer a twinkle of hope, literally and figuratively, in difficult times. And I realized the power of lights has always been with me. It just took me decades to appreciate.

My family room, complete with snowflake lights!

When I was young, light played a big role in my Christmas celebrations. My little family of three attended Christmas Eve church service, and my favorite part was the end. The congregation would pass a flame, candle to candle among the pews, while we sang “Silent Night, Holy Night” and reverently exited the sanctuary. I loved the warm light of the candles, how it made the faces of the adults around me glow. After the service, our family took a circuitous route home, driving through neighborhoods to see the lights on display and choose our favorites. Dad always played Christmas music.

Later, when I had children of my own, I replicated this tradition, driving the minivan through neighborhoods after Christmas Eve service to marvel at the lights with my kids. And croon along to The Drifters singing, “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.”

Fast forward to middle age and kids who are taller than me. The year after the snowflake lights revelation, during my annual shopping with Leslie, I found pretty acorn lights to adorn my mantle. These acorns have become my favorite decoration, and I leave them up through February to fight the dark until the days finally grow longer.

Holiday lights have gotten us through some dark times. Back in 2020, my father spent the entire week before Christmas in the hospital. COVID still raged, so we couldn’t visit him, but my daughter stayed with me at his house and kept me company while I managed his medical care from a distance. A cancer diagnosis and the grim reality of the treatments ahead made us crave cheer. We looked online and plotted a lights tour through nearby neighborhoods.

Inspired by those lights, we decided my dad needed similar decorations to welcome him home. We braved a Walmart (very scary to go to a NOVA Walmart on December 23) and found cheerful lights to string across his fireplace mantel and china buffet. The smile on Dad’s face when he saw them more than made up for the hour of commercial torture we spent in Walmart.

A lot of research supports the theory that light boosts mood. Visit the websites of Psychology Today, Nature, and The National Institutes of Health to learn about the power of light to dispel depression and boost energy and focus. However, those studies don’t refer to Christmas lights. It doesn’t matter. The acorn lights on my mantle and twinkling snowflakes in my family room definitely lift my mood, and I will keep using them.

Just this morning, I listened to a great podcast that reaffirmed my belief in the power of lights. I’m a practicing Christian, but I enjoyed hearing Rabbi Amichai Lau-Vavie’s insights on how Jewish people can use the lights of the menorah to find comfort.

The holidays can be difficult for many of us. Perhaps we struggle with grief, stress, or depression. Perhaps we are sick or caring for someone who is. Perhaps, like me for many years, we only see the holiday as work. (I have four kids. It’s a lot of work.) Whatever brings you joy this season, embrace it with abandon and get rid of what doesn’t serve you. For me and my house, we will revel in lights.

What holiday traditions bring you comfort?

Happy holidays!

Book reviews

Great book suggestions for you, or for holiday giving 2023

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 0 Comment

As the year winds down, and the holidays ramp up, you may, like me, be searching for gift ideas. I like to give gifts that are practical yet meaningful, useful and still entertaining. I favor experience over stuff. Books are the perfect gifts, because they satisfy all those requirements. They offer an experience – a mystery, a jump into history, a course in self-improvement- and yet they are something to wrap up and deliver for the holidays. So join me for some great book suggestions for 2023.

My favorite reads from 2023

I’m behind on my Goodreads reading goal for the year. Like, five books behind. I think it’s because I’ve tackled some doozies this year, including Demon Copperhead, the Pulitzer Prize winning novel from Barbara Kingsolver about how the opioid crisis started in my backyard, Appalachia. I followed that up with Dopesick by Beth Macy and am thoroughly horrified about the drug epidemic and watching closely how the Supreme Court will rule in the Sackler Family bankruptcy case.

If you haven’t read Demon Copperhead or know someone who hasn’t, consider giving this book to yourself or that friend. I’m not saying it’s a joy ride. It’s long and hard. But kinda necessary. Like Schindler’s List. And it does have a hopeful ending.

Cover of the novel Demon Copperhead

See my review of Demon Copperhead here…

If you like historical fiction, I recommend:

Book cover Lessons in Chemistry
  • Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. This book got me through my first bout with COVID and is now a mini series on Apple TV. The TV version deviates from book but keeps the spirit of it. I recommend. See my full book review here.
  • The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles (review)
  • The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese

If you like essays, I recommend:

  • The Book of Delights by Ross Gay – he’s so positive! so joyful about daily experiences. See my review.
  • Upstream, selected essays by Mary Oliver

If you like young adult and/or mysteries, I recommend:

  • The Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson

Other places to find books to give

I love exploring the winners of the Goodreads Choice Awards each December. These are awards given by readers, or real people! They are divided into categories like “Fantasy”, “Memoir,” and “Young Adult” to make searching easy. See the winners for 2023 here:

Goodreads Choice Awards

Goodreads Choice Award Winners for 2023

Time Magazine also has recommendations, via its top 100 reads of 2023.

The 100 Must-Read Books of 2023

Can you add book suggestions?

What books did you enjoy this year? They don’t have to be published this year. Share your suggestions in the comments! Happy shopping!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Book reviews

A great book to prepare your heart for Christmas

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 0 Comment

As I’ve mentioned multiple times, I have mixed feelings about Christmas. I do NOT think Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, and I do not start celebrating or decorating until Thanksgiving is firmly behind us. But this year, I am happy to report I am less Grinchy and more at peace. Part of it comes from personal healing. Part comes from the fact that my kids are grown and gift giving is easier. They also help with cookie baking and food prep. And yet another part comes from a book I want to recommend. If you are a Christian who celebrates Christmas, and especially if you love holiday music, please consider reading All Is Calm, All is Bright by Ann Marie Stewart during this advent season.

Full disclosure, Ann is my friend, and I previewed All is Calm, All is Bright before it got published late in 2022. Because printing got delayed, it wasn’t released until advent was upon us, and her sales suffered. Publishing is a tricky business. But you shouldn’t buy Ann’s book just because you feel bad for her, or because she’s my friend. Ann’s devotionals offer thoughtful, inspiring ways to keep yourself grounded during the holidays. (I’m also a fan of her devos Preparing My Heart for Advent and Preparing My Heart for Easter.)

What separates All is Calm, All is Bright from other Christmas devotionals

If the title All is Calm, All is Bright turns your mind to “Silent Night,” the reverent carol of the night of Jesus’s birth, then this devo is definitely for you. Ann uses Christmas carols as the context to guide readers through important passages of scripture, from the prophecies of the Old Testament to the Nativity story of the gospels. Her short, easy to read devotionals begin on December 1 and end on January 6, Epiphany. The daily lessons and prayers incorporate Ann’s personal experiences, holiday traditions, songs of the season, and even Christmas movies.

Ann’s focus on the songs of Christmas helped me incorporate their lyrics and melodies into a mindful celebration of the holiday last year. Music provided the medium I needed to hold the truths about the holiday with me even in exhausting, frustrating, or sad situations. All is Calm, All is Bright provides wonderful reflections and prayers for each day that helped me, someone who has trouble embracing the holiday, truly prepare for celebrating the birth of Jesus. I plan to use it again this year to focus my mind on what truly matters during this busy, glittery holiday, and I encourage you to do the same.

All is Calm, All is Bright would also make a wonderful gift or could be used with church groups or Sunday School classes.

Do you have a book you can recommend to help me stay grounded in joy and peace this holiday season?

Other books I’ve recommended at the holidays: (and not all are devotionals!)

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Who I Am

Why and how to practice gratitude this Thanksgiving

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 2 Comments

As the cross country bus pulled away from the state course, the team cranked up a Bluetooth speaker. They didn’t blast “We are the Champions” by Queen, or “Shake It Off ” by Taylor Swift, even though a fair number of Swifties run for the team. Instead, they sung along with gusto to “All I want for Christmas is you” by Mariah Carey.

“We haven’t celebrated Thanksgiving yet!” I shouted to the back of the bus. Even though the history of Thanksgiving is fraught with colonialism, I’m not afraid to champion this holiday. Thanksgiving offers us the important opportunity to pause and practice gratitude. In a world plagued by violence and polarization, we need gratitude much more than another dancing Santa, or, sorry girls, Mariah Carey.

Don’t leap to Christmas without celebrating Thanksgiving

Full disclosure, I have very mixed feelings about Christmas. The holiday dredges up difficult memories for me that include nursing homes and alcoholism. And then there’s the commercialism. My local Walmart has already started bombarding customers with flashing decorations and jingle bell music, even though it’s only late November. As I said recently to a friend, I’m good with the Baby Jesus and lights, but all of the STUFF makes me ill.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand, does not stir up negative emotions for me. The holiday means having all my kids home. Sharing meals and games together. Seeing extended family. No stress about getting everyone gifts or running to concerts, parties, or the store for last minute stocking stuffers. Thanksgiving celebrates something that cannot be bought. (Besides the food.) Thanksgiving honors time together. Making connections. No gifts, just gathering. (See my post on prepping your heart and mind for a positive Thanksgiving.)

Many of us will ponder what we are thankful for as we share a meal this week. Why not turn that moment of thanksgiving into a habit, one you practice each day moving forward? Let’s use this Thanksgiving as a kick off for a regular gratitude practice.

Reasons to embrace gratitude

Gratitude is good for us. According to several articles I read, (see links below), practicing gratitude benefits our physical and mental health in some surprising ways. Plenty of research demonstrates the benefits of regularly gratitude, such as:

  • reduces depression
  • increases self-esteem
  • promotes strong social relationships
  • decreases blood pressure (In a 2021 review of the literature, participants who kept a gratitude journal saw their diastolic blood pressure drop.)
  • improves sleeping (which in turn promotes other healthy behaviors, because when we are well rested, we are more motivated to exercise and make healthy food choices)
  • decreases anxiety – practicing gratitude disrupts the negative thought patterns that make anxiety worse

How to practice gratitude

The research shows that just a little bit of time for gratitude each day can create healthy changes. One of the articles shared how a woman started feeling better by keeping a gratitude jar. Each night before bed, she wrote something she was thankful for on a small slip of paper and dropped it in a mason jar. When she felt down or discouraged, she could look at the jar, maybe even pull out a note, and remember all the good things of her life. I keep a journal, and often in my daily entries, I write about things that went well or goodness I saw in others.

Here are some concrete ways to practice gratitude:

  • keep a gratitude journal, writing daily entries about things that went well in your life
  • keep a gratitude jar
  • write a thank you note to someone you are grateful for; be specific when you tell them what you appreciate about them or your relationship
  • practice a few minutes of prayer or meditation each day, focusing on positive events or people

Scientist suggest linking your gratitude practice to something you already do each day will help you stick with the habit. Think of three things you are thankful for as your laptop boots up. Pray for/ think of someone who has does something nice for you while you brush your teeth. Instead of waking up and immediately running through the day’s to do list, come up with three things you are thankful for as you start your day. (I recently adopted that habit, and it helps me avoid stressful thoughts first thing in the morning.)

Another thing that helps me cultivate gratitude is reading positive, inspirational words from other people. A few books I recommend for that are:

Recommended reading about gratitude

Have I convinced you? Will you use this Thanksgiving to start a gratitude practice? If you already have one, please share what you do each day to stay positive.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!