How to encourage reading

What you need to know about brain rot, demure, and other words from 2024

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 2 Comments

Any self respecting Word Nerd embraces the challenge of keeping up with modern language. Words change meaning and usage based on culture and time. I particularly enjoy deciphering the ever changing language of teens. I’m not ashamed to ask for explanations of phrases like “rizz,” even if it sparks a condescending eye roll from a 15 year old.

Each January, I enjoy reflecting on words used to describe the past year. I consult Merriam-Webster, Oxford, and others to see what a few carefully chosen “Words of the Year” say about our present situation. This year packs some doozies.

Brain Rot

Oxford’s Word of 2024 is “brain rot,” a sad statement about our state of mind. Oxford defines Brain Rot as “the deterioration of a person’s mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as the result of over consumption of material (especially online content) considered to be trivial or unchallenging.” It can also refer to “anything likely to lead to such deterioration.” Surprisingly, this term isn’t a 21st century phenomenon. Way back in 1854, Henry David Thoreau gave us the first recorded use of Brain Rot in his book Walden. He said, “While England endeavours to cure the potato rot, will not any endeavour to cure the brain-rot – which prevails so much more widely and fatally?”

Polarization

Merriam Webster’s word for 2024 is “polarization.” It comes from the Latin polaris, referring to the opposite poles of the Earth. M-W defines polarization as:

division into two sharply distinct opposites; especially, a state in which the opinions, beliefs, or interests of a group or society no longer range along a continuum but become concentrated at opposing extremes.”

Merriam-Webster

If you, like me, are tired of hearing about polarization and why it’s making everything difficult, think instead about the evolution of its meaning. When it originally came into use, it described a physical phenomenon- light waves vibrating to a definite pattern. It’s interesting how something that once described an objective law of nature now is used to describe intellectual, political, or social differences.

Sidebar, in an effort to combat polarization in my own sphere of influence, I plan to read Monica Guzman’s book I Never Thought of It That Way this year.

Whether you’re left, right, center, or not a fan of labels: If you’re ready to fight back against the confusion, heartbreak, and madness of our dangerously divided times—in your own life, at least—Mónica’s got the tools and fresh, surprising insights to prove that seeing where people are coming from isn’t just possible. It’s easier than you think.

From Goodreads

Demure

Dictionary.com chose demure as it’s word of the year. The word experienced a 1200% increase in usage online in 2024. Demure comes from Middle English dem (e) ur(e), meaning characterized by shyness and modesty; reserved. It can also mean coyly decorous, sober, or sedate. Dictionary attributes its popularity to TikToker Jools LeBron, who used demure in videos to describe modest, subdued, respectful appearance and behavior at work or in other public spaces. Seems like it’s more about an awareness of presentation than an interest in modesty. Darn.

Allision

Finally, a new word to me from the 2024 collection is allision, from the Latin allisus, to strike against. Back in March 2024, the cargo ship Dali crashed into the Frances Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore. Many called the event a “collision,” but, collision describes two moving objects colliding. A more accurate term for the Dali event is allision: the act or an instance of a ship striking a stationary object (such as another ship that is not underway) —distinguished from collision. Why would you need to know this? Because you’re a Word Nerd, and you care about specifics!

Do any of these words resonate with you? Let me know in the comments. The term “brain rot” hits me hardest, as something I want to avoid. I’ve spent less time on social media in the past month, and I don’t miss it. I’m looking for ways to use my precious moments mindfully in 2025 and focus on consuming content that inspires and informs.

Happy New Year, and cheers to learning more about language in 2025!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Who I Am

Why I love the days after Christmas

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

As I’ve shared before, December brings out my inner Scrooge. During the weeks leading up to Christmas, I dread the extra tasks, the shopping, the stuff. All the excess literal and mental junk saps my energy and clutters my brain. Conversely, my most wonderful time of the year happens in the days AFTER Christmas. Unlike the people who feel let down post-holiday, I surge with enthusiasm. With the presents unwrapped and put away, the holiday treats eaten, and some of the decorations removed, I have space to breathe again. I turn to the first crisp page of my new planner and smile.

Not everyone feels this way. For some, the space between the holidays and the New Year feels empty, strange. The main event we’ve been looking forward to has passed, but the New Year hasn’t yet begun. We can describe this time as liminal, from the Latin root limen, meaning threshold.

Liminal: adjective that means of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition.

Merriam Webster

You can use liminal to describe an “in-between” or transition, either physical or metaphorical. Often, people feel uncomfortable in liminal spaces – they are leaving the past behind and don’t know what lies ahead. The unknown can be scary.

Or, it can promise possibility!

image of desk calendar
My new Ladies of Literature calendar, a gift from my daughter 🙂

During this liminal time each year, when I’m not back to my regular routine but no longer celebrating with family, I use the time to regroup, reflect, and plan for the year ahead. I clean up the Christmas clutter – although most decorations stay up “at least for 12 days,” insists child #4. I sort through closets and make piles for the dump and Goodwill. I flip through the pages of my nearly filled Moleskin Journal to remind myself of what I learned and enjoyed and struggled with in the previous year. I make notes, set goals. Then I break out the new planners, calendars, and journals, excited for opportunities ahead and the chance to refocus my energy.

I also allow myself extra rest to recover from the December busyness and prepare for new activities in January. This morning, I read in bed for an hour, something I haven’t done for years. Only in this liminal space would I have time to do such a thing.

Oh happy day, December 30!

A fresh month in my Erin Condren planner!
My newly organized Christmas wrap storage

If you’re feeling let down by the passing of the holidays, cheer yourself up by reflecting on what went well this year, what you’d like to carry with you into the New Year, and what things you’d like to try. Also, if “outer order promotes inner calm” for you as much as is does for me, tackle a closet you’ve been avoiding. You’ll feel accomplished when you are done!

How you are using this liminal time? Leave a note in the comments.

Thanks for getting reflective with me! And Happy New Year!

Who I Am

Let yourself off the hook this holiday season

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 2 Comments

How many times in the past week have you heard, or even said, “There’s so much to do!”

Right. Me too. That’s why today, I’m letting you off the hook. And it’s all because of Arthur Ashe.

What does this famous tennis star have to do with holidays? Read on, Word Nerds.

The family running squad… minus me! 🙁

On Thanksgiving morning this year, my family donned running shoes and turkey hats and headed down to the local Turkey Trot. Eleven members of the immediate and extended family ran, including a nephew I never thought would voluntarily tackle a 5K. Sadly, that eleven didn’t include me, one of the most enthusiastic runners in the clan. I’ve been nursing a hip injury since October and was not in shape to run the 10K I signed up for. Big disappointment, as I’d been looking forward to racing this new distance.

As I stood at the bottom of a hill on the course, waiting for runners to go by, I thought of a quote I found years ago, when I was looking for inspiration for the high school cross country team I coached. It came from Arthur Ashe, famous athlete and leader:

I don’t know the context for this this statement by Ashe, but I applied it that morning on the Turkey Trot course. I couldn’t run, but I took photos and cheered, and the smiles I received from family and strangers made up for my disappointment.

Now, in December, I’m applying it to Christmas. I’m using what I have (For me, that’s energy level. For someone else, it might be time or money.) and doing what I can for holiday preparation and gift giving. And that’s enough. If I don’t put up all the lights and garland from last year, it’s okay. If I don’t make all the recipes from previous holidays, we will live. Maybe someone else will prepare the cherry cheese pie this year. (Hint, hint!)

For every no I say to decorations, cookies, and invitations, I allow myself a yes to the things I value most about the holidays. That includes connecting with family and friends, decorating the house with lights to cheer me on dark winter days, and indulging in beautiful seasonal music. At a time when many have abandoned sending holiday cards, I still enjoy sending out a family photo and brief update. And I look forward to receiving the same from friends and family who are willing to share. For those who have decided the annual card ritual is too expensive or time consuming, I get that too. No judgement here. We are all doing what we can to enjoy the season.

This year, I’m paring down holiday tasks to those that allow me to spread joy without becoming overwhelmed. I hope you find that precious balance as well.

If you need more reasons to give yourself grace this season, read my thoughts on Celebrating a “scuffed” Christmas, or my Permission to simplify Christmas from years past.

For tips on forgiveness and dealing with family at the holidays, check out Kelly Corrigan’s essay

How do you stay sane during the holidays! Comment and let us know.

Happy holidays, and remember to:

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Arthur Ashe

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

How to encourage reading

Gift ideas for the holidays: My favorite books from 2024

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 2 Comments

Gift idea lists started floating around the Internet the week of Thanksgiving. I considered adding my own Word Nerd edition to the mix. But here’s the thing. The part of Christmas I dread, the part that makes me want to avoid leaving my home this time of year, is SHOPPING. COMMERCIALISM. That special December (or perhaps more accurately these days, October) pressure to buy the things.

I don’t need more things. In fact, the theme in my house for 2024 was “purge.” That theme will continue into 2025 because, well, we only got to the basement. :/ I’m guessing many of you also don’t need more stuff. However, one can never have too many books. Books can be shared, re-gifted, donated to the local library or free little library. Books offer education, inspiration, armchair travels, suspense, and laughter. Those sound like excellent gifts to me.

Favorites from a year of reading

I did better with my reading goals this year, quickly closing in on my 30 titles for 2024. Listening to audio books helps. (Yes, you doubters, that does count as reading!) I recommend several- click the links to read my reviews:

  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt: non-fiction about the role of the internet and social media in the emotional development of children. Lots of data and ideas worth considering.
  • Becoming Madam Secretary by Stephanie Dray: Historical fiction about the life of Frances Perkins, the first woman appointed to a US President’s Cabinet.
  • Those We Thought We Knew by David Joy: Fiction set in the mountains of North Carolina that unflinchingly and thoughtfully explores how racism affects communities.
  • The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World by John Mark Comer. Christian based self improvement
  • The Maid by Nita Prose: A funny fiction mystery – a good antidote to the seriousness of our times and my other reading!

Titles I’ve got my eye on for next year

My “to read” list grows with the exuberance of a two year old. But I’m not daunted. Next year, I hope to spend more time reading newsletters, Substack, quality journalism I’m willing to pay for, (like Cardinal News), and of course, books! Titles I’m looking forward to include:

  • The Pivot Year by Brianna Wiest (self help)
  • Patriot: A Memoir by Alexei Navalny (biography)
  • The Small and the Mighty: Twelve Unsung Americans Who Changed the Course of History, from the Founding to the Civil Rights Movement by Sharon McMahon (non fiction)
  • Benjamin Franklin: An American Life by Walter Issacson (biography)
  • More David Joy!

I’m excited and inspired by this list, but do you see the problem with it? Hardly any fiction. I need fiction recs! Please share in the comments or shoot me an email. I’m not a fan of space or sci fi so keep those to yourself. 😉

Shop for books responsibly

I’m newly irritated with Jeff Bezos, current owner of The Washington Post, for refusing to endorse a candidate in the 2024 Election in the name of objectivity. I suspect he actually was more concerned about the guy rolling into Washington in January than journalistic standards. Besides, I’m tired of his company taking over the world. So, I’m currently trying to divest from Amazon (for a person living in a rural community with few shopping options, this is hard.) If you buy books this holiday season, consider using Bookshop.org, a website that supports independent bookstores.

In that vein, please suggest viable replacements for Goodreads and Audible, also part of Amazon. 🙁

Happy reading and don’t sweat the shopping!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Who I Am

Words and books to lift your spirit

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

When I’m discouraged, I turn to words and books to offer consolation and inspiration. If personal circumstances, the coming of winter, or the state of politics and public affairs have you feeling drained or down, here are five book related tips for rising above.

Keep Going by Austin Kleon

This fun little book, easy to digest in bits, offers encouragement and insight to creatives, but Kleon’s collection of snippets is useful for anyone trying to keep up motivation. My favorite quote appears near the end, from the late, great Toni Morrison:

This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal. I know the world is bruised and bleeding, and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its malevolence. Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge- even wisdom. Like art.

Toni Morrison, in Keep Going by Austin Kleon

Praying with Mother Teresa by Susan Conroy

One of my favorite life quotes comes from Mother Teresa:

It is better to light a single candle then to curse the darkness.


I can’t find a direct attribution for this quote, but here is an interesting and inspiring article about Mother Teresa and The Power of One. The article advises, “…the wisdom of Mother Teresa applies even in a time of crisis. One thing at a time. One step at a time. One soul at a time. One conversation at a time. One work of mercy at a time. Do the one work of mercy that’s asked of you right now. Love your family, or help your friends, or do good to the stranger.”

When the work seems overwhelming, this is a great reminder of how to start.

Martin Luther King, Jr. and the arc of the moral universe

Recently on a podcast, I heard a historian quote MLK Jr. as he discussed war in the Middle East. He said:

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.

I find this attitude immensely comforting. And, as a Christian, I believe its true. But to really be moved, watch MLK deliver this line and others. I shiver listening to his hopeful words.

Learn more history

Speaking of MLK, in the past few weeks I’ve found consolation in learning more history and gaining perspective. Greedy, power hungry people have always been around to do awful things. (Exhibit A: Herod in the Gospel of Matthew.) Our job is to keep working against them. Our nation has faced division and challenges before. The Great Depression. McCarthyism. Vietnam. And that was just the 20th century. America has recovered. It will again.

I’m a huge fan of Stephanie Dray’s historical fiction. Check out here recent release, Becoming Madam Secretary, to learn more about one woman’s contributions to helping our country climb out of The Great Depression. To learn more about history, check out NPR’s Throughline Podcast. It explores many topics in American history and features a series called “We the People.” This examines each of the amendments to the US Constitution. Here’s the episode on The Second Amendment.

Action absorbs anxiety

Another great podcast for a time of distress is The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos. On World Mental Health Day October 2024, Dr. Santos gathered the “Titans of Happiness” to share their tips for staying calm and contented in challenging circumstances. One of her guests was Dan Harris, former TV anchor who now educates his followers about meditation with this 10% Happier podcast. He had the best quote of the episode:

Action could mean exercise. It could be volunteering to serve food to homeless in your city or working a shift at the local pregnancy center. It could be as simple as checking on a neighbor. Or, when you’re ready, it could be something slightly bigger, like choosing one issue you feel strongly about and getting involved with it. For me, that was running for school board in my little county. What might that look like for you?

I’d like to close with powerful words from Heather Cox Richardson, an American historian who currently teaches at Boston College. On Make Me Smart, she advised people concerned about the current American political climate:

You wake up and you just put one foot in front of the other and try to do the next right thing. And if enough of us wake up and do the next right thing for long enough, we turn it around.

We have a lot of humble, loving work to do in our country. I believe, one action at a time, we can get it done.

Do you?

Thanks for getting hopeful with me!

How to encourage reading/Who I Am

Every vote counts! A reminder from a one vote winner

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

A year ago at this time, I was passing out candy at football games and trunk or treats, greeting people with my campaign flyers, and getting to as many civic meetings as possible. I was running for local office.

I competed with three other candidates for the At Large School Board Seat, and the political party most dominant in my county had endorsed one of my opponents. School board seats are supposed to be non-partisan, but this type of endorsing went on all over Virginia. Concerned, but not daunted, I called on friends and acquaintances, and even my introvert husband, and together, we spread my image and message across the county. Election Day involved a spreadsheet of volunteers and a tour to the 12 different voting precincts in my county to pitch myself to strangers. I smiled nonstop from 7am to 7pm.

But my campaign didn’t end on Election Day. The work did, but the waiting just began. At 9pm on Election night, I sat in front of my laptop watching results on the Virginia elections site. First I climbed up, then I feel behind my opponents. By 10, I took my husband’s advice, turned off the laptop, and went to bed.

The next day, it looked like I had won by 99 votes. The day after that, I got a call from the county registrar. The county had tallied votes correctly, but Richmond made a mistake recording our county votes, and I was suddenly behind. And not all of the absentee ballots had been cast. By the next week, after all mail-in ballots were counted, I led my opponent by a handful of votes. He called for a recount. I didn’t blame him. I would have done the same.

So, on a morning in December, I gathered in the basement of the county court building with election officials, the clerk of court and his staff, and a panel of three judges for the recount. I also was allowed to bring two friends who could observe the counting for me and speak on my behalf. The recount took more than seven hours. My opponent was there and also had ballot observers with him.

A few ballots were contested. In both cases, the voter had put a mark by more than one candidate for the same office on the ballot. What had the voter intended?

The election volunteers and officials did an excellent job of attending to detail and keeping things impartial and fair. In the end,

I won by a single vote.

That’s right. One.

Me, getting sworn in by the judge who dubbed me “Landslide.” 😉

To those of you tired of hearing about swing states, polls, and the Electoral College, let me assure you of this: YOUR VOTE MATTERS. Especially for local and state politics. Please, please, educate yourself, make a plan, and vote this election.

I learned a lot during my campaign, both about the power of local political parties and how many mistakes people make on ballots. Fill in the entire box. Choose only one candidate. Direct questions to your local election officials.

And lemme say it one more time…

Every vote counts! Including yours. Vote!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!