Improving vocabulary/Who I Am

Celebrating a “scuffed Christmas” won’t get us down!

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 5 Comments

It’s December 21, 2022. I’m recovering from COVID and am finally able to leave isolation in my bedroom today. But now child #4 is sick. And child #1, who doesn’t live at home, is sick and says he might wait until after Christmas to visit. Disappointed, he said he was preparing for “Scuffed Christmas 2.0”.

Why 2.0? Last year, Christmas 2021, our oldest son suspected he had COVID, and therefore he spent the holiday isolating, and we opened presents socially distanced using Face Time. But really, this year should be Scuffed Christmas 3.0, because Christmas 2020 was no dream holiday. That year, my daughter and I spent Christmas Eve and much of Christmas day away from home, caring for my father who had just been released from a week long stay in the hospital. Oh, and during that stay, he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.

For those of you older than 25, the “kids” use scuffed as an adjective that means “of poor standards or low quality” or to refer to something broken or not working as intended. (Thanks, Urban Dictionary.) Yep, that definitely could be our Christmas 2022.

Which is too bad, because everything is perfect at Christmas, right? I mean, the lyrics of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” tell us every year to “Let our hearts be light” because “from now on our troubles will be out of sight.” I strongly dislike that song. Because it’s a lie. Troubles are a part of this life. I experienced many a less than perfect Christmas growing up. Like, when my parents fought, and the tension hung so thick at the dinner table that I could hardly swallow my food. When my mom cried over frustration of being stuck in her wheelchair. Then there was the Christmas we had to put her in a nursing home.

As the Man in Black tells Princess Buttercup, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”* “Have yourself a merry little Christmas” is selling us an unrealistic picture of the holiday, pretending that troubles don’t shadow us just because it’s December. But many of us are facing loss and grief and pain, no matter the season. I have several friends caring for aging parents and facing difficult decisions. Several who are grieving loved ones. My husband’s aunt just got diagnosed with cancer and started chemo the first week of December. And think of the poor people in Ukraine.

I’m not a Scrooge. I am just pointing out from the midst of tinsel and twinkling lights that Christmas can be hard as well as merry. That people are struggling and sometimes the notion of a perfect Christmas makes it worse. 

But we can and should find comfort in Christmas, even if it is scuffed. We should find our joy not in gifts or chocolate or decorations, but in the reason we celebrate in the first place. Good will conquer evil. Love is meant for all. And salvation comes to us in simple, humble ways, like a naked baby in a barn. We can face our troubles with hope, because we are eternally cherished. And in turn, we can cherish and support each other.

For our family this year, Christmas might not look like it has in the past, or it might not be perfect, but we will still find time to enjoy each other and share love with each other. To find moments of joy. As I told my oldest son, Christmas is a season. We can celebrate on any day, not just December 25.

Wishing you the very best this holiday season, even if it is “scuffed.” Especially if it is!

*If you don’t recognize this quote from The Princess Bride, then go watch it now! That will make you smile! 🙂

Find joy!

How to encourage reading

Favorite gift ideas for the holidays 2022

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 4 Comments

The days of December are flying by, and if you, like me, are scrambling for gift ideas with a Word Nerd twist, I have some great bookish gift suggestions for you.

Favorite books this year

I haven’t read as many books as I hoped this year. I blame it on tackling two 1000+ page tomes by the fantasy master Brandon Sanderson. Yes, that’s not a typo. TWO 1000 page books. I think I should get credit for at least four books out of that.

The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance are the first two books in Sanderson’s The Stormlight Archive series. My kids rave about these books, so I dug in, even though I’m usually not a big fantasy reader. I enjoyed them – there is great world building and, most important to me, character development. There are, however, lots of things to keep track of and a large number of “interludes” with new places and characters that are hard to understand. I ask my kids a lot of questions when I’m reading these books. I’m not going to suggest them as gifts because it takes a certain kind of reader to like these novels. If they sound good to you or you know someone who likes epic fantasy, then be my guest. I liked The Way of Kings better than Words of Radiance. I will finish the series, but I had other books to read.

Books that I read and thoroughly enjoyed this year include:

Books I haven’t read but dare to recommend

The Goodreads Choice Awards are book awards given by real people. Over five million readers voted this year. I have always enjoyed the titles my fellow readers on Goodreads recommend. The results for 2022 are out, and here are some titles I can’t wait to try (both from the winners and the nominees.)

  • Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver because it’s Kingsolver and it’s about the trials of coming of age in Appalachia, where I live. She has taken the classic David Copperfield by Charles Dickens (him again!?) and transposed it to the modern American south. My book club is reading it early next year.
  • Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult because I really enjoyed Small Great Things and it is, according to Goodreads, “A soul-stirring novel about what we choose to keep from our past, and what we choose to leave behind.” Also a pick for my book club.
  • The Winners by Fredrick Bachman because I love Beartown.
  • I Must Betray You by Ruta Sepetys YA Historical Fiction- because my daughter, who is a well read young woman with a good track record on recommendations, has enjoyed many of Sepetys’s books and I’ve decided that HF is a great way to learn more about history. And I want to perhaps write a YA HF or at least have components of history in it so I’d better start studying someone who is good at it. And, it’s NOT about World War II.

Word nerdy favorite things that aren’t books

This year, I finally went ahead and started paying for the pro versions of two of my favorite apps: Evernote and Canva. And I upgraded to Scrivener 3.

Evernote is a digital notebook app- I can access my notebooks from multiple devices, add notes quickly and easily, and keep my writing ideas, research, and resources organized easily. I can clip articles from the internet directly into Evernote which is great for when I see something that inspires a blog post or a novel idea. $9/month

I use Canva to create graphics for my blog and social media. The free version is quite nice, but I decided to go ahead and try the pro version. I get access to more photos, graphics, and templates with the paid version. I can also make my own “brand” templates, fonts, and colors with Canva pro. It makes creating content super easy and fun! $120/year

Finally, I paid for Scrivener writing software a long time ago and recently paid to upgrad to Scrivener 3. It’s an incredibly powerful software program for writing novels, screenplays, research papers. It has so many functions it can be overwhelming. I highly recommend doing the tutorial and making use of the online help guide as needed. But it won’t take much to get you started.

With Scrivener, it’s easy to keep your project organized with a binder that can hold research info (including links to outside sources), notes and ideas, and scenes that are easy to shift around. When you get a draft written, you can compile the relevant documents into a Word document for sharing/ reviewing. I am currently editing a novel with alternating narratives. I have assigned a color coded icon to each scene to help keep track of the different plot points within each timeline. Love it! You can also buy it as a gift. $60 for Windows and MacOS

Happy holidays!

There you go! I hope you find some useful ideas here, and if you have more to share, please do so in the comments.

Have a wonderful holiday season, and don’t forget to make time to relax and read!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Book reviews/Words and Technology

Tired of tech? Why you must read Digital Minimalism

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 0 Comment

Sometimes, when I’m sitting in a restaurant, I look around and see every person around me staring at a screen in their hand. It makes me seriously uncomfortable. Our devices are consuming us.

So when my oldest child read Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport this summer and touted its magic, I bought myself a copy. I’m very concerned about my use, my family’s use, our society’s use of technology. I worry that we all spend far too much time consuming and not enough time creating. Cal Newport, the author of Digital Minimalism, shares my concerns, and he’s put together some very interesting ideas about how to manage the amazing technology we have available to us these days.

The purpose of the book

Digital Minimalism discusses how we can change our habits to lead our best lives. Newport doesn’t condemn technology. Instead, he offers suggestions for how to use technology for maximum benefit while avoiding falling prey to the strategies of big tech companies who want our most valuable assets: time and attention.

After he makes the case against an unhealthy attachment to tech, Newport suggests the first step to adopting a lifestyle of Digital Minimalism is to do a Digital Declutter. This is basically a 30 day break from “optional tech” – anything that will not cause major chaos in your personal or professional life. Newport insists this declutter helps you see with clarity how you function without a particular app/device/ tool. The space can help you determine how important it really is.

After the declutter, you evaluate with intention which technologies to allow back into your routine and create plans for how to use them. For example, if you want to keep using Instagram, you create personal rules for how to use it on your terms so you don’t fall into the habit of mindlessly scrolling whenever you have a free moment. Then you can use that extra time for more important things. Like true connection with other people and creative hobbies.

Some other suggestions Newport makes include:

  • long walks without media or technology
  • leaving the phone at home sometimes, or at least in the car glove box
  • consolidating texting
  • reclaiming leisure time – investing the energy to learn/ nurture skills that help us create valuable things in the physical world
  • remembering that convenience does not make something critically important to us

What I liked

Newport’s writing style is easy to read. He’s not preachy or rigid. He simply offers readers suggestions for how to evaluate their relationship with tech and establish healthy patterns that will work for them. He doesn’t promote an “all or nothing” approach. He never says, “You have to do this.” His style is more, “Hey, here’s something to think about.”

Applying Digital Minimalism

I started my Digital Declutter December 1st. It fits, since as a practicing Christian, I use the season of Advent for quiet, focus, and reflection. I’ve taken Facebook and Snapchat off my phone, and I’ve established certain times of day to check email and texts. I’m making big use of the new “Focus” functions on my iPhone. You can often hear me saying, “Hey Siri, turn on personal focus.” I’m in negotiations with my housemates (read: son and husband) about limiting screen time (including gaming and streaming) – perhaps setting aside two nights a week for “real world” leisure. You know, games, puzzles, maybe even crafting?

After the declutter, I’ll decide what to add back, and how to use it efficiently. I’ll also continually assess if the apps I have on my phone truly help me, and if so, how best to make them work for me, and not the other way around.

Have you read Digital Minimalism? Can you recommend other books about healthy habits for tech use?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Improving vocabulary/Who I Am

No Donnybrooks during the holidays, please

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 2 Comments

We had 12 out of town guests. Ten cousins who don’t see each other very often. A six pack of (the aptly named) In-Law Invasion Ale. Four pies. Three of my children, in various stages of launching, who came home for the holiday. One 16 pound turkey, and one fruit turkey. (I’ll explain later.) But NO Donnybrooks, thank goodness.

My oldest brought this for us!

Wait? You don’t know what a Donnybrook is? Well, neither did I, until my word nerd friend asked me, in light of the holiday chaos at my house,

Make it through Thanksgiving without any Donnybrooks?

Donnybrook is a fun word, isn’t it? Well, its etymology is too.

Donnybrook is often capitalized (even when not appearing at the beginning of a sentence.) It means a dispute, usually occurring in public, or an all out brawl. Donnybrook is actually a city near Dublin, Ireland that hosted an annual fair known for its many brawls. Things got so bad that the event was cancelled in 1855, but by then the use of the word Donnybrook to describe a ruckus had already been firmly planted in the vernacular. See this quote from the mid 19th century:

Some received severe blows from persons who wielded their sticks with such agility as to do no disgrace to a Donnybrook fair.

—Commercial Advertiser [New York], 19 Oct. 1843

So there you have it! Over the Thanksgiving holiday, our family, all 19 of us, played lots of games (Code Names and Poetry for Neanderthals were favorites), shared lots of laughs and a few pitchers of sangria, but we did not have any Donnybrooks.

And back to that fruit turkey… It was what it sounds like:

Photo of a turkey made from assorted fruits
Nana thought making a fruit turkey would be fun!

Thank you to Rohna for the inspiration, again, and to Merriam-Webster for the information!

Did you have any Donnybrooks over your holiday? What funny moments or near Donnybrooks did you experience?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me, and I wish you a Donnybrook free holiday season!

Book reviews/Favorite Authors/Favorite Characters

Five great “journey books’ for holiday travel

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 2 Comments

Wait- Thanksgiving is only a week away? How did this happen? Soon 18 family members will arrive at my home for meals, games, and happy hour. (Happy hour might start early on Thanksgiving Day.) 😉 I won’t be traveling for this holiday, but I know a lot of people will, either now, or in December, or both, so I want to share a few journey themed books perfect for holiday travel.

The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise

First up, The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise by Dan Gemeinhart. This fun little read is considered middle grade. Goodreads users also classify it as “family” and “adventure.” That means it’s perfect in the car for little ears and big ears too! (Note: I’m an adult who LOVES kid lit!)

The Premise of Coyote Sunrise

Ever since the sudden death of her Mom and two sisters five years ago, Coyote and her father, Rodeo, have been driving across the country in a old school bus turned mobile home. But when Coyote learns a park holding sacred memories of her family will be demolished, she wants to go home. Unfortunately, home is in Washington State, 3600 miles away. And, Coyote only has four days to get there. And, Rodeo can’t know where or why they are going.

What I liked

Coyote is a plucky, relatable main character with great voice. Her dad, Rodeo, is thoughtful and kind, yet flawed. He and Coyote manage their grief in very different ways, and that leads them on a collision course. Rodeo wants to forget, but Coyote wants to remember. Rodeo may drive the bus, but Coyote doesn’t back down.

Along the way to Washington state, Coyote and Rodeo pick up several interesting passengers, all looking for something different: true love, a new start, a place to feel safe. The novel successfully balances a fun and light tone with deeper themes about how to cope with loss and how to connect with people who are different. It also poses a significant question:” Is choosing happiness selfish?

What I didn’t like

While I enjoyed the journey motif, which compliments the plot nicely, the end felt a little drawn out. Also, at times Coyote and Rodeo’s folksy voices sound somewhat cliche (but, I listened to the audio book, and perhaps that was more performance than prose.) Overall, I enjoyed the audio book.

Word Nerd Recommendation

If you enjoy stories about family, chosen family, and acceptance, The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise is a perfect choice. It’s won several awards, including Flicker Tale Children’s Book Award for Middle Readers (2021), Truman Readers Award Nominee (2022), Goodreads Choice Award Nominee for Middle Grade & Children’s (2019), Rebecca Caudill Young Readers’ Book Award (2022)

Other great books for a journey

Coyote got me thinking about other books with a journey theme. Here are some I recommend:

  • Pony, by R.J. Palacio (author of Wonder). This middle grade historical fiction novel tells the story of a young boy on a quest to find his father. A ghost and a mysterious pony are his only guides. I enjoyed the audio book of this title too.
  • Paper Towns by John Green. (Do I really have to tell you who John Green is?) This young adult mystery follows Quentin as he tries to find his adventurous neighbor Margo who has suddenly disappeared. Note: Quentin has had a crush on her for years.
  • Mosquitoland by David Arnold. This young adult adventure follows Mim as she travels by Greyhound bus from her life with her father and stepmom in Mississippi to her mother in Ohio. Yes, I said Greyhound bus, so you can expect a colorful cast of characters.
  • The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles. (author of A Gentleman in Moscow.) Adult historical fiction. I have not read this yet, but my book club really enjoyed it. Blurb from Goodreads: “Spanning just ten days and told from multiple points of view, Towles’s third novel will satisfy fans of his multi-layered literary styling while providing them an array of new and richly imagined settings, characters, and themes.”

Those are my ideas. I’ve gotta go clean. What books can you recommend for travel?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Who I Am

Why we must create enough space to hold paradox

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 0 Comment

Whew, election week is wrapping up, so hopefully, we can look forward to less hostile rhetoric about over-simplified issues. Because the truth is, no matter what the media, in all of its toxic forms, tells us, issues are not black and white. Almost every person, every issue, every problem, holds paradox.

We have a strong tendency to shove aspects of our lives into clearly defined spaces. Things are wrong or right. People are good or bad. Social media and the press, in their mad desire to attract and keep our attention, don’t want to make the time or space to discuss the intricacies and complications of issues.

But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. We can decide to embrace paradox, to hold conflicting facts and opinions at the same time.

Instead of approaching life from an “either/or” and “this or that” mentality, imagine what could happen if we all did a better job of thinking, “yes, but” or “not only, but also”, or “what if?” I’m guessing if we spent less time categorizing and more time exercising curiosity, this world would be a happier, more peaceful, more accepting place.

I’m super into the Kelly Corrigan Wonders podcast these days. Kelly is tackling issues like this, searching for ways to be better and explore “what could be.” In one of her recent episodes, she interviewed Dr. Clara Oropeza, an English professor at Santa Barbara City College, to talk about the value of critical thinking that is attained through reading literature. It’s part of her “Live from College” series in which she is traveling to campuses around the country to figure out the value of a liberal arts education.

Toward the end of the interview, as the two women discussed the value of being able to embrace complicated, paradoxical issues, Dr. Oropeza quoted the writer Maxine Hong Kingston (author of The Woman Warrior.)

I learned to make my mind large, as the universe is large, so that there is room for paradoxes.

Maxine Hong Kingston

Wow. Isn’t that fantastic?

Have a great weekend everyone, and may you learn to make your mind large and allow room for paradox.

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!