What you need to know about NIMBY

One of my favorite podcasts, Make Me Smart, recently made me smart about an acronym that has gained popularity in the past few decades. Do you know what a NIMBY is? Let the Word Nerd explain.

NIMBY is a goofy sounding word for a serious problem. It stands for “Not in my backyard,” and it refers to a person who opposes the placement of something, usually undesirable, like a power plant, wind farm, prison, or incinerator, in their neighborhood or near their neighborhood. It’s use started in the 1970s and has seen a dramatic rise and steady use in the last decade.

Usually, people accused of being NIMBYs don’t want a project built near their home because they are worried about damage to property values or their personal well being. They are fine, however, with having these things built near poor or marginalized neighborhoods. Therefore, NIMBY usually carries the stench of hypocrisy.

Here’s a great point from Political Dictionary:

The result of NIMBY is that, in practice, municipal projects like landfills, prisons, and public housing tend to end up being located in low-income neighborhoods. That’s because wealthy neighborhoods, which hold more political power, usually protest vociferously against have such projects located in their “back yards.” It’s not that the wealthy object to prisons, landfills, and public housing, but they do usually object to having them located near their homes. Meanwhile low income neighborhoods usually hold much less political power, and can’t effectively prevent undesirable projects from being put in their areas.

Political Dictionary

The NIMBY attitude also poses a serious challenge to a green energy revolution. New and renewable energy sources, like wind and solar power, have a large footprint, but some counties are banning new energy development before plans are created.

On Urban Dictionary, I found a bunch of other interesting slang terms related to NIMBY. They included NOPE (Not On Planet Earth), the BANANA (Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone), and the TEDAO (Tear Everything Down At Once).

I get it. I would have reservations about living near a bunch of giant wind turbines and low income housing too. But here’s the thing. We need new forms of energy and ways to manage trash and treat water and provide affordable housing. It’s a burden of living that we should share and not dump on the poorest and least powerful among us. Of course, that’s the way it always goes, but that doesn’t mean it’s right.

Last weekend, I heard the author Ross Gay speak at the Virginia Festival of the Book. One of the excellent and hopeful points he made in his discussion of his writings on joy was this: we experience joy when we practice our entanglement. He noted that although so many of us want to live “independently”, we need each other. Even people who grow gardens so they can be “self-sufficient” need people to provide the seeds and starter plants. And need bees to pollinate the blooms. We live, Gay emphasized, “in dependence.”

In summary, don’t be a NIMBY. When you feel that NIMBY response rising in you, think about the bigger picture, and what we all need to do to take care of each other. Try to practice that currently neglected concept of compromise.

Heard any interesting slang lately? Share, and make us smart, in the comments.

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

How to survive March Mayhem

We were ready for March Madness in our house. We had our brackets filled out on the ESPN site and eagerly hoped our Hoos could get to at least the Sweet 16. Even the dogs were decked out in UVA orange. Truth be told, I picked my teams based on my love for Tony Bennet, team name recognition from past tournaments, and school colors. I didn’t expect big rewards. Good thing, because UVA lost in the first round. Again. Cue the March Madness, and what I call, on a personal level, March Mayhem.

We were so ready! 🙁

March is my hardest month. It always brings chaos, thanks to the shift to Daylight Saving Time and the erratic weather. The dark mornings make it hard for me to get out of bed. The budding trees and daffodils tell me warmer weather is coming, but the chill wind chides me, NOT YET. And let’s talk about the wind. Here in our valley between the Appalachian Mountains and the Blue Ridge, the wind howls most days of March. Relentlessly. The cold bursts of air sap my excitement for going outside or tackling my to do list. I just want to curl up under a blanket and sleep. Or read.

My friend Lanny told me she’s likes March because it’s “bipolar.” “You never know what you’ll get!” she said gleefully. Clearly, she’s more comfortable with change than I am. When I complained to my husband about the lingering cold and unpredictable weather of March, he said, “But March is the month when everything turns green.”

Clearly, if I am going to survive March, I need to shift my perspective.

A long time ago, I wrote down a piece of advice from productivity guru Michael Hyatt .

“You get more of what you notice.”

Michael Hyatt

If I want to remain blue and listless, I can keep on focusing on the thermometer and listening for gusts against my windows.

Or, I can decide to defeat March Mayhem, one day at a time. One thought at a time.

Here are five things I’m doing to combat March Mayhem. Maybe you will find them helpful too:

  1. Thinking of others instead of me, specifically, writing cards to people who are sick, lonely, struggling. You know, with a fun pen on a colorful card.
  2. Baking or cooking for others. When it’s cold, it’s fun to bake. Doing something with my hands helps reset my mind.
  3. Movement is critical, even when the weather is unpleasant. I like yoga, walking the dogs, and on crummy days, the stationary rower.
  4. Volunteering. This week I went back to the Open Door Cafe, our town’s donation based community cafe. The new perspective helped. Immensely.
  5. Purging. I have proclaimed 2023 The Year of the Purge. I only have one kid left at home, but lots of toys, books, clothes, and general stuff remain. Also about eight boxes I kept from my father’s house. I plan on tackling the extra junk this month, so when the weather turns, I can work outside and not feel guilty about the mess inside. Physical purging also helps with mental purging, have you noticed? “Get rid of what no longer serves.” (Thank you, Yoga with Adriene.)

And, I am excited to hear author Ross Gay speak at next weekend’s Virginia Festival of the Book. He will be talking about his two books of essays, The Book of Delights and Inciting Joy.

I started The Book of Delights this week. Gay set out to write one essay each day for a year, starting and ending on his birthday. The topic is always something that brings him delight. His short essays include meandering, humorous, grateful thoughts, as well as some cussing. And his perspective on being a black man in America. Excellent stuff to combat my moody March Mayhem.

How do you feel about March? Can you add any suggestions for combating the mayhem?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Facing middle age with grace

Our cat, a spunky calico, is fading. Every morning when I venture out to the porch to deliver her food, I fear what I will find. Stillness. Coolness. Or worse, nothing. But each new day, she hears my approach and perks up from her nap in the sunshine to greet me. She moves slowly; her coat hangs limp over her ribs. I must lean close to hear her purr, but it’s there. She often doesn’t eat the food I leave, and that makes me sad. I’ve seen end of life signs before. I pet her and tell her how happy I am to see her. What a pretty, good cat she is.

Love our morning visits

I often return to the house from visiting the cat with tears in my eyes. Why do we do this to ourselves, get attached to pets we will eventually lose? As I ponder this, I sit to take off my shoes, and my two year old puppy nudges me. Licks my hand. Forces me to be grounded in the here and now of wet noses. She sniffs the tears on my cheeks and picks up her old tennis ball. It’s time for play, and of course, I indulge her. As I watch her chase her ball, I know I’m setting myself up for hurt someday. But I also believe it’s worth it.

I turned 52 last week. While I’m not showing my age as much as my cat, I understand I have more years behind me than ahead of me. That my body is starting to wear. That each day is a gift to welcome.  I have officially surpassed my mother’s time on this earth; she died at 51. This milestone is not lost on me. For whatever reason, I have more time than she did, and I intend to use it well.

Thankfully, with five decades comes wisdom for living well. I can slow down a bit now, physically and mentally, to nourish a quiet appreciation that only comes after years of emotions and failures and painful growth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still active and fighting, lifting heavy weights to combat muscle loss and osteoporosis. My go to adjective is “resilient.” But I’m comfortable with my middle aged self, leaning into my 50s eager to keep growing out of the foundation I’ve built. Time is a resource I must use well. Thanks to decades of experience, I’m finally able to hold conflicting emotions in the same hand with acceptance: joy and grief, desire and contentment, worry and release, death and life. It’s the contrasts that make life full.

Instead of seeing my life as a finite timeline, I envision my 52 years as collection in a large glass jar. I marvel at the people and experiences I’ve known, many shiny and pretty, some sharp and rough, that make up this life I’m living.  I mentally dig out my trinkets and cherish them, more often these days, while looking for new treasures to add.

Bolt, my fading calico, is a gem in my collection. I love her because she acts more like a dog then a cat, coming with us on our morning walks, seeking love and attention with her raspy voice. I will keep searching for her in the mornings. And when she’s gone, I will be glad I’ve had her.

Life is smooth, shiny stones mingled with sharp edged rocks, and it’s the mix that makes it beautiful. Holding my collection, I forge onward.

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

What you need to know about flyer and flier

As I prepare to launch a writing contest and a campaign for local office (the Word Nerd wants to serve on the school board, of course), I am designing, emailing, and printing many a Canva designed flyer. (Have you looked into the awesome design tool Canva? The free version works quite well, but I signed up for Canva Pro last year and LOVE IT. More on that later.)

Sample flyers Canva could make for you…

Anyway, I am designing flyers. Or is it fliers? Honestly, I didn’t know and wanted clarity. Here’s what Merriam-Webster has to say on the matter:

According to M-W, a flier refers to one who flies planes or an “airman.” It can also describe a reckless venture. However, a flyer is most often used for “an advertising circular.”

So that confirms it, I’m designing FLYERS. I like that better. There’s something appealing about the Y.

Do you have a word spelling or usage you are wondering about? Share it! We all can learn.

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

More books to broaden your perspective

Part of the beauty of a book club is it forces you to read books you might not choose on your own. Our last two book club reads sparked a lot of contemplation for me, and some great discussion for the group. These are great reads to broaden your perspective.

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult

Mad Honey book cover

I hate to say too much about Mad Honey, as I don’t want to spoil anything for readers. I admit, I didn’t really want to read it. Jodi Picoult can be hit or miss for me, although she did write one of my favorite books of all time, Small Great Things,  which is a fascinating study of racism.

In Mad Honey, Picoult uses two points of view to tell the story of the suspicious circumstances surrounding the death of a teenager and the subsequent court case. One POV’s  narrative moves forward in time, and the other moves backward. This was a great tool to heighten suspense.

Mad Honey explores what characters choose to hide from people and what they choose to share. It also examines what we choose to keep from our past and what we let go. It was a solid three star read for me, and it gave me a lot to think about and discuss.

Here’s a great quote that highlights one of the important themes of Mad Honey:

“If you want to understand something, you first need to accept the fact of your own ignorance. And then, you need to talk to people who know more than you do, people who have done more than just thought about the facts, but lived them.”

Olivia, in Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult

If this isn’t a sentiment necessary for our time, I don’t know what is. Here’s another one that struck me:

How similar does someone have to be to you before you remember to see them first as human?

Olivia, Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult

The Moment of Lift by Melinda Gates

I’ve wanted to read The Moment of Lift by Melinda Gates for a while. I even gave a nice hard back copy to my daughter. I borrowed that copy to finally enjoy the book, and it’s a good one. Gates’ writing isn’t spectacular, but her thoughts and ideas are.

In light of her recent divorce, I expected this book to be about personal redemption and strength, along the lines of Rising Strong by Brene Brown. But it’s not just about Melinda – it’s about all women, everywhere. The Moment of Lift was a nice nonfiction segue after reading Lessons in Chemistry.

In The Moment of Lift, Gates describes, with data and stories from women she’s interviewed, how giving women more information, power, and autonomy can improve society. She focuses on the areas of family planning, education, the workplace, maternal and newborn healthcare, and agriculture. I really appreciate how she highlights the importance of understanding women where they are in order to help them bring about positive change.

For example, in her discussion about contraception, she points out that in certain communities, giving women condoms will not provide adequate birth control. The Gates Foundation figured out, after talking with women, that sometimes when husbands are asked to use condoms, they take offense. They see it as an accusation or a confession of adultery. In these cases, a wife who asks her husband to use a condom can expect a beating. Melinda and the Gates Foundation modified their approach.

Here are some great quotes from the book:

“It’s the mark of a backward society — or a society moving backward– when decisions are made for women by men. That’s what’s happening right now in the US.” 

The Moment of Lift, Melinda Gates

About the importance of education, Gates says,

“Women can use the skills they learn in school to dismantle the rules that keep them down.”

Gates helped me better appreciate the mentality I see in my Southwest Virginia community about going away to college. Very few students in each graduating class leave for a four year college. She interviews a girl who left her small town to study at a university. Here’s what people said to the girl: “‘Why do you want to leave home, anyway? Everything you might ever need is here. Are you saying we’re not good enough for you?” Gates points out, “As [these families] see it, their culture doesn’t hold people back; it holds people together. In their eyes, pursuing excellence can look like disowning your own people. “

I am a transplant from Northern Virginia and have never understood the fear of sending kids away to school. Gates opened my eyes. I am glad we have a community college right in town that offers associate degrees and certificates, and training in relevant fields to help young adults launch into jobs that will earn them a decent living wage.

Word Nerd note: Since I borrowed my daughter’s copy of The Moment of Lift, and she is HIGHLY opposed to marginalia and keeps her books pristine, I had to use a note card to keep track of my notes.

If you are interested in broadening your perspective on relevant issues for our time, I highly recommend each of these books.

Can you recommend other books that have opened your mind to new ideas?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

A new idea for Valentine Pink

Exactly 30 years ago on February 14, my hubby bent down on one knee near the glowing lights of The Rotunda and asked me to marry him.

This, after he’d said many times in the previous months that he would NEVER pick an obvious day, like Valentine’s Day or my birthday, to propose. He truly surprised me that cold February night. I also got a dozen roses to commemorate the day.

Several decades later, I still love that wonderful guy who proposed on The Lawn. Even if he never gives me flowers anymore. Things change, like…

Ten years ago, I had four children at home, and Valentine’s Day triggered The Great Writing of the Cards. Sometimes I, in a fever dream inspired by Pinterest, dreamed of making handmade Valentines. My creative side loved the idea! But here’s the thing. Four children x 24 classmates = a lot of red paper to cut. So, instead, I escorted my kids, aged 5 through 12, down the red and pink holiday aisle of Walmart to find the right cards to hand out at school. Everyone gravitated to something different. Foldable basketball hoops for the eldest. Princesses for the girl. Super heroes for the younger two. And we couldn’t forget to buy candy for all those cards.

A fabulous Valentine party idea inspired by Amy Makechnie!

Back at home, we spread out (and sometimes punched out) the cards on the kitchen table. Got out the class lists and pencils or pens. (Again, everyone wanted something different.) Chose a card for each classmate and wrote their name on the card (not too big!) While I appreciated the exercise in penmanship (Wait, do parents print up Valentine labels now? Or are Valentine greetings delivered via TikTok?), and the even more important lesson of being generous and inclusive with the giving of greetings, Valentine’s Day wore me out. Let’s not even discuss the aftermath of the classroom Valentine party. (I was the mom who always brought in a fruit tray.)

As my kids morphed into teens who would NOT DREAM of sending Valentines (except for my girl who made them for her friends), I shifted to a cookie baking tradition. I found a fabulous recipe that included a touch of almond extract and an awesome frosting. My giant heart shaped cookies always got rave reviews.

This year, I’m not sure how we will “do” Valentine’s Day. I do not expect, or even desire, roses or a romantic dinner. My youngest, the only child at home, and hubby will surely appreciate the giant heart sugar cookies, but shouldn’t there be something else?

It occurred to me while pondering this upcoming Hallmark holiday that “pink” (the ubiquitous color for Valentine’s Day) looks a lot like the word “kind.” Check out the letters in each word. Shuffle the i, n, k, and rotate the p 180 degrees. You get kind!

How about, instead of rolling our eyes every time we see pink and red in the next week, we take those cupids and hearts as a reminder to BE KIND. You don’t need a special “Valentine” to celebrate the holiday. You just need to bring kind-heartedness to the people around you.

You also need chocolate. Just a few pieces. I like Ghirardelli’s Dark Chocolate, caramel, and sea salt. What about you?

How do you plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Remember, PINK=KIND!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!