In my immediate family of six, I classify at least three of my people as introverts. They dislike small talk (in some cases talk in general), enjoy time alone, and find social situations with large numbers of people exhausting. They often come off to people who don’t know them as aloof, cold, or even arrogant. And sadly, I didn’t fully appreciate my introverts until I read the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. In fact, after reading just a few chapters of the book, I recall looking at my then 14 year old, the oldest child, and saying, “I’m so sorry.” I also had to apologize to husband.
A great book for QUIET people
Quiet explains introverted tendencies and, even better, touts the value introverts bring to our culture. In a world that gives most attention to the loud and charismatic extroverts, introverts go unnoticed and unappreciated. Introverts might not know how to, or like to, work a room, but they do know how to work on problems. Without introverts, we would not have the inventions and technology and literature we celebrate today.
In one of the first chapters, Cain offers a quick, non-scientific 20 question quiz to assess where readers fit on the introvert/ extrovert continuum. My husband and one son answered almost all 20 questions as introverts. My daughter and I fell in the middle, answering about half as introverts and half as extroverts. That makes us ambiverts. Aren’t we special?
I often give this book to people who might not yet appreciate introverts, especially ones in their family. I recently gave it to a friend at church who has one quiet child; the rest of the family, including my friend, embody full on extroversion. I’m hoping Quiet will help them all appreciate the reserved loner among them.
Words about introverts
Introverts are often misunderstood. To bring some better understanding to this important personality tendency, let’s take a closer look at some words for introversion.
Introvert: from Latin intrล- + vertere “to turn” (noun); a reserved or shy person who enjoys spending time alone. Interestingly, the verb introvert was used before the noun, starting in the 17th century, and meant “to turn inward or in upon itself.” The adjective “introverted” also predates the noun and has always been used to describe a person “possessing a reserved or shy nature typically with an inclination to solitude.”
Taciturn is a fun word from Middle French tacite, and Latin tacitus meaning silent. Taciturn, an adjective, means temperamentally disinclined to talk. Lots of classical authors, such as the Bronte sisters, Jane Austen, and Herman Melville, liked to use taciturn in their work. I would say husband is definitely taciturn.
Unclubbable is new to me, and I plan to start using it immediately. It’s more interesting and less negative than “unsocial” or “antisocial.” Unclubbable is an adjective meaning having or showing a disinclination for social activity. It was coined in the 18th century by Samuel Johnson, who published The Dictionary of the English Language in 1755. Johnson used the term to describe a friend who refused to frequent a literary club Johnson established with artist Joshua Reynolds in 1764. So, in this case, clubbable has nothing to do with violent action but rather a tendency to appear in a social setting. From now on, I’m going to refer to hubby as “unclubbable” and see what reaction I get. ๐
Learn more interesting words about introverts at Merriam-Webster.
Do you know and love introverts? How to you describe them?
Thanks for getting nerdy with me!
LOVED that book and thanks for these words. I can definitely be both taciturn and unclubbable ๐
YOU!? I would not have thought that!
When I was a reporter, I was surprised to find how many of us (whose job involved questioning and interviewing people) actually were introverts–or maybe just unclubbables.