Book reviews

For Valentine’s: two books about ladies who learn to love themselves

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

If you like stories with interesting leading ladies, I’ve got two adult novels for you. I’d recommend The Maid if you are looking for a lighthearted mystery and escape from the news cycle of chaos. If you’re up for a funny but also unflinching look at the plight of young, single, working-class mothers, try Margo’s Got Money Troubles.

The Maid by Nita Prose

Twenty-five-year-old Molly lives her life in exceptional and simple terms. She has a photographic memory for detail but has trouble reading social cues and other people’s intentions. Her dear Gran used to help Molly understand the world, but she died a few months ago, and Molly feels lost. Her confusion worsens when, during her shift as a maid at the Regency Grand Hotel, she finds one of the hotel’s wealthiest and notorious guests dead in his bed.

The head detective suspects her, and her coworkers at the hotel are using Molly’s unique personality against her… perhaps to cover up their own illicit activities. It’s all very hard for Molly to understand, and she’s going to need some help to get out of this mess, but she doesn’t have friends she can count on. Or does she?

What I liked

Molly’s unique point of view thoroughly colors this mystery. We can only see the world through Molly’s eyes, but we understand things differently than she does, adding irony, humor, and intrigue to the story. Some people give this book negative reviews because they expected more of a mystery. There’s definitely a “Clue” like aspect to the story, but it’s more about relationships and human nature. The lighthearted tone of The Maid offers respite in a time when our world bombards us with stories of war, retaliation, and selfish gain. While Molly starts the book vulnerable and scared, she learns the value of connection and gains wisdom about who she can trust. In the end, despite some despicable actions by many characters, kindness and goodness win out.

What I didn’t like

Molly’s voice can get monotonous at times – perhaps I can blame that on the narrator of the audio book I listened to. Molly’s tone comes through as I suspect it would for someone with her personality, but some readers find the voice grating. Ultimately, the humor and good feelings mattered more to me than Molly’s voice.

Recommendation

The Maid would be a good choice for anyone looking for a lighthearted break from the fire hose of chaos in our news feed. If you like Only Murders in the Building, you’d probably like The Maid. This novel is the first in a series of four. I would be interested in reading more about Molly the Maid later.

Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe

I downloaded the audio book after I heard it recommended on one of the “year in books” podcasts I listened to in late December. The idea of a 19-year-old trying to navigate the world of motherhood and adulthood with little emotional support from her parents, much less financial help, appealed to me. I believe our society spends too much time debating abortion and not enough resources educating and empowering women to make the best decisions for their well-being. I figured this novel would explore that, and I wasn’t disappointed.

Margo is wicked sharp and uses funny descriptions to explain her predicaments. Her mom is an ex Hooters waitress currently working in retail. Her dad’s an ex pro wrestler who has spent most of his life on the road or with his other, “legitimate” family. Margo’s smart, but since she lacks financial resources, she settles for junior college after high school. There, she guilelessly falls into an affair with her English professor and ends up pregnant.

Against everyone’s advice, with a naïve expectation that the world will support a woman who chooses motherhood, Margo decides to keep her baby. She soon finds herself without employment, without money, and on the brink of eviction. Her father shows up to help, but his opioid addiction complicates the situation. Desperate, Margo turns to the online world of sex work as a means to earn some cash while still taking care of her baby. With his experience from the pro wrestling world, her father helps her create an online presence to earn fans and money. But soon, because of her job, Margo finds herself in the middle of a custody fight and a CSS investigation. After she’s worked so hard to provide for herself and her baby, she might lose everything after all.

What I liked

Margo’s Got Money Troubles highlights the challenges women face navigating the world of motherhood, employment, and child care. Margo makes several terrible decisions, and yet, I empathized with her. The poor girl is barely 20 and has no trustworthy adult role models to guide her. She is, despite all the odds, an excellent mother, and her plight challenges our current societal norms and policies for women and children. Margo is often witty and funny, even when her life seems hopeless. She demonstrates incredible resourcefulness and perseverance, and ultimately gains confidence and connections she can rely on.

What I didn’t like

I’m currently re-evaluating my relationship with social media and stepping back from online life. Margo is trying to build an income online, so lots of the book revolves around creating and posting videos and gaining followers. I got tired of hearing about TikTok and other platforms and found Margo’s obsession with followers unhealthy.

Recommendation

Margo’s Got Money Troubles is a great book for readers interested in women’s issues, particularly the plight of single mothers. Content warning: Margo turns to OnlyFans, a pornography site, to earn money. She discusses the nude pictures and videos she posts of herself. The novel also explores the role of religion and culture on motherhood. Throughout the story, Margo contemplates how the Virgin Mary must have felt being a young, pregnant woman in terms some might view as offensive. Her mother marries a religious conservative who disapproves of Margo’s choices.

Note: Margo’s Got Money Troubles is currently being adapted for television by A24 and AppleTV. And the author, Rufi Thorpe, earned her MFA from the University of Virginia, my alma mater!

Can you recommend other books about people who learn to love themselves? Share in the comments!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

How to encourage reading

Check out this new YA Romance by Jackie Khalilieh

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

As a YA author, I enjoy, and learn from, reading books similar to mine. You Started It by Jackie Khalilieh caught my eye because its main character shares lots of characteristics, like anxiety and obsessive organization, with one of my MCs.

Jamie Taher-Foster can’t wait for her boyfriend Ben to return from summer camp so they can tackle all of the activities on her senior year bucket list. But his first day home, Ben breaks up with Jamie, triggering her anxiety and kicking off a master plan to win him back. Enter Alexander “Axel” Dahini, a dancer and YouTube star who agrees to pose as Jamie’s boyfriend so she can make Ben jealous. And Jamie can help Axel with his parents by pretending to be his “good Arab girlfriend.” Jamie even drafts a contract to define the limits of her relationship with Axel, but free spirited Axel never signs it, and Jamie’s plotting falls apart.

What I liked

This is a fun YA romance with a “fake dating” trope that works. The chemistry and banter between Axel and Jamie works well, and each of them discovers something important about themselves over the course of their unusual relationship. It was interesting to learn a little about Arab culture – honestly, I would have liked to see more. Khalilieh tackles relevant issues for teens, including self-discovery, strained family relationships, and learning to make healthy choices. Jamie battles anxiety and demonstrates constructive ways to manage it – most of the time. When she doesn’t, she deals with the consequences. The cast of characters is diverse and interesting.

What I didn’t like

Sometime the dialogue, especially for the teen characters, felt too on the nose or heavy handed with counselor speak. However, since Jamie has anxiety and works with a counselor, perhaps it’s reasonable to expect her to adopt some of the language from her therapy sessions. I did at times feel like I was being hit over the head with character revelations and would have preferred that the author allow me to draw my own conclusions instead of so blatantly pointing them out to me.

Recommendation

You Started It is a fun YA romance that would appeal to fans of Jenny Han or Nicola Yoon. It tackles relevant issues for teens and explores healthy ways to manage communication, relationships, and mental health.

You Started It will release May 2025. Check it out!

Can you recommend a fun YA romance, just in time for spring?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Improving vocabulary

Discover the perfect word for talkative people: prattle basket

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

Wow! Another crazy week of news, with certain people saying lots of interesting things.  So it was funny to me when my Mental Floss Word Nerd Daily calendar (a gift from my awesome friend and Wahoo Sharon) recently presented “prattle basket” as an “old-fashioned word to bring back.”

The phrase, which describes someone who will not stop talking, was first used way back in 1602, followed closely by “prattle box” in 1671. Chatter box entered the lexicon in 1774.

I feel like we have a lot of prattle baskets getting attention in our society these days. Do you agree?

Prattle basket made me think of a Word Nerd post I shared years ago about a bloviating megalomaniac. Guess who that was? 

bloviate \’blō- vē-āt\ verb, perhaps an irregular form of “blow”
To speak or write verbosely or windily

megalomaniac \me-gə-lō-ˈmā-nē- ak\ noun
One who suffers from a mental disorder marked by feelings of unlimited importance and power

I confess, I’m a bit of a prattle basket myself. Throughout school, I got warning notes on my report cards for excessive talking during class. And my eleventh grade English teacher dubbed me “Babbles” (Babs for short) and assigned me loqui when we studied Latin roots.

Can you share a fun word for people who tend toward loquaciousness? 

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

How to encourage reading

What you need to know about brain rot, demure, and other words from 2024

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 2 Comments

Any self respecting Word Nerd embraces the challenge of keeping up with modern language. Words change meaning and usage based on culture and time. I particularly enjoy deciphering the ever changing language of teens. I’m not ashamed to ask for explanations of phrases like “rizz,” even if it sparks a condescending eye roll from a 15 year old.

Each January, I enjoy reflecting on words used to describe the past year. I consult Merriam-Webster, Oxford, and others to see what a few carefully chosen “Words of the Year” say about our present situation. This year packs some doozies.

Brain Rot

Oxford’s Word of 2024 is “brain rot,” a sad statement about our state of mind. Oxford defines Brain Rot as “the deterioration of a person’s mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as the result of over consumption of material (especially online content) considered to be trivial or unchallenging.” It can also refer to “anything likely to lead to such deterioration.” Surprisingly, this term isn’t a 21st century phenomenon. Way back in 1854, Henry David Thoreau gave us the first recorded use of Brain Rot in his book Walden. He said, “While England endeavours to cure the potato rot, will not any endeavour to cure the brain-rot – which prevails so much more widely and fatally?”

Polarization

Merriam Webster’s word for 2024 is “polarization.” It comes from the Latin polaris, referring to the opposite poles of the Earth. M-W defines polarization as:

division into two sharply distinct opposites; especially, a state in which the opinions, beliefs, or interests of a group or society no longer range along a continuum but become concentrated at opposing extremes.”

Merriam-Webster

If you, like me, are tired of hearing about polarization and why it’s making everything difficult, think instead about the evolution of its meaning. When it originally came into use, it described a physical phenomenon- light waves vibrating to a definite pattern. It’s interesting how something that once described an objective law of nature now is used to describe intellectual, political, or social differences.

Sidebar, in an effort to combat polarization in my own sphere of influence, I plan to read Monica Guzman’s book I Never Thought of It That Way this year.

Whether you’re left, right, center, or not a fan of labels: If you’re ready to fight back against the confusion, heartbreak, and madness of our dangerously divided times—in your own life, at least—Mónica’s got the tools and fresh, surprising insights to prove that seeing where people are coming from isn’t just possible. It’s easier than you think.

From Goodreads

Demure

Dictionary.com chose demure as it’s word of the year. The word experienced a 1200% increase in usage online in 2024. Demure comes from Middle English dem (e) ur(e), meaning characterized by shyness and modesty; reserved. It can also mean coyly decorous, sober, or sedate. Dictionary attributes its popularity to TikToker Jools LeBron, who used demure in videos to describe modest, subdued, respectful appearance and behavior at work or in other public spaces. Seems like it’s more about an awareness of presentation than an interest in modesty. Darn.

Allision

Finally, a new word to me from the 2024 collection is allision, from the Latin allisus, to strike against. Back in March 2024, the cargo ship Dali crashed into the Frances Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore. Many called the event a “collision,” but, collision describes two moving objects colliding. A more accurate term for the Dali event is allision: the act or an instance of a ship striking a stationary object (such as another ship that is not underway) —distinguished from collision. Why would you need to know this? Because you’re a Word Nerd, and you care about specifics!

Do any of these words resonate with you? Let me know in the comments. The term “brain rot” hits me hardest, as something I want to avoid. I’ve spent less time on social media in the past month, and I don’t miss it. I’m looking for ways to use my precious moments mindfully in 2025 and focus on consuming content that inspires and informs.

Happy New Year, and cheers to learning more about language in 2025!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Who I Am

Why I love the days after Christmas

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

As I’ve shared before, December brings out my inner Scrooge. During the weeks leading up to Christmas, I dread the extra tasks, the shopping, the stuff. All the excess literal and mental junk saps my energy and clutters my brain. Conversely, my most wonderful time of the year happens in the days AFTER Christmas. Unlike the people who feel let down post-holiday, I surge with enthusiasm. With the presents unwrapped and put away, the holiday treats eaten, and some of the decorations removed, I have space to breathe again. I turn to the first crisp page of my new planner and smile.

Not everyone feels this way. For some, the space between the holidays and the New Year feels empty, strange. The main event we’ve been looking forward to has passed, but the New Year hasn’t yet begun. We can describe this time as liminal, from the Latin root limen, meaning threshold.

Liminal: adjective that means of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition.

Merriam Webster

You can use liminal to describe an “in-between” or transition, either physical or metaphorical. Often, people feel uncomfortable in liminal spaces – they are leaving the past behind and don’t know what lies ahead. The unknown can be scary.

Or, it can promise possibility!

image of desk calendar
My new Ladies of Literature calendar, a gift from my daughter 🙂

During this liminal time each year, when I’m not back to my regular routine but no longer celebrating with family, I use the time to regroup, reflect, and plan for the year ahead. I clean up the Christmas clutter – although most decorations stay up “at least for 12 days,” insists child #4. I sort through closets and make piles for the dump and Goodwill. I flip through the pages of my nearly filled Moleskin Journal to remind myself of what I learned and enjoyed and struggled with in the previous year. I make notes, set goals. Then I break out the new planners, calendars, and journals, excited for opportunities ahead and the chance to refocus my energy.

I also allow myself extra rest to recover from the December busyness and prepare for new activities in January. This morning, I read in bed for an hour, something I haven’t done for years. Only in this liminal space would I have time to do such a thing.

Oh happy day, December 30!

A fresh month in my Erin Condren planner!
My newly organized Christmas wrap storage

If you’re feeling let down by the passing of the holidays, cheer yourself up by reflecting on what went well this year, what you’d like to carry with you into the New Year, and what things you’d like to try. Also, if “outer order promotes inner calm” for you as much as is does for me, tackle a closet you’ve been avoiding. You’ll feel accomplished when you are done!

How you are using this liminal time? Leave a note in the comments.

Thanks for getting reflective with me! And Happy New Year!

Who I Am

Let yourself off the hook this holiday season

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 2 Comments

How many times in the past week have you heard, or even said, “There’s so much to do!”

Right. Me too. That’s why today, I’m letting you off the hook. And it’s all because of Arthur Ashe.

What does this famous tennis star have to do with holidays? Read on, Word Nerds.

The family running squad… minus me! 🙁

On Thanksgiving morning this year, my family donned running shoes and turkey hats and headed down to the local Turkey Trot. Eleven members of the immediate and extended family ran, including a nephew I never thought would voluntarily tackle a 5K. Sadly, that eleven didn’t include me, one of the most enthusiastic runners in the clan. I’ve been nursing a hip injury since October and was not in shape to run the 10K I signed up for. Big disappointment, as I’d been looking forward to racing this new distance.

As I stood at the bottom of a hill on the course, waiting for runners to go by, I thought of a quote I found years ago, when I was looking for inspiration for the high school cross country team I coached. It came from Arthur Ashe, famous athlete and leader:

I don’t know the context for this this statement by Ashe, but I applied it that morning on the Turkey Trot course. I couldn’t run, but I took photos and cheered, and the smiles I received from family and strangers made up for my disappointment.

Now, in December, I’m applying it to Christmas. I’m using what I have (For me, that’s energy level. For someone else, it might be time or money.) and doing what I can for holiday preparation and gift giving. And that’s enough. If I don’t put up all the lights and garland from last year, it’s okay. If I don’t make all the recipes from previous holidays, we will live. Maybe someone else will prepare the cherry cheese pie this year. (Hint, hint!)

For every no I say to decorations, cookies, and invitations, I allow myself a yes to the things I value most about the holidays. That includes connecting with family and friends, decorating the house with lights to cheer me on dark winter days, and indulging in beautiful seasonal music. At a time when many have abandoned sending holiday cards, I still enjoy sending out a family photo and brief update. And I look forward to receiving the same from friends and family who are willing to share. For those who have decided the annual card ritual is too expensive or time consuming, I get that too. No judgement here. We are all doing what we can to enjoy the season.

This year, I’m paring down holiday tasks to those that allow me to spread joy without becoming overwhelmed. I hope you find that precious balance as well.

If you need more reasons to give yourself grace this season, read my thoughts on Celebrating a “scuffed” Christmas, or my Permission to simplify Christmas from years past.

For tips on forgiveness and dealing with family at the holidays, check out Kelly Corrigan’s essay

How do you stay sane during the holidays! Comment and let us know.

Happy holidays, and remember to:

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Arthur Ashe

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!