Who I Am

Let yourself off the hook this holiday season

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 0 Comment

How many times in the past week have you heard, or even said, “There’s so much to do!”

Right. Me too. That’s why today, I’m letting you off the hook. And it’s all because of Arthur Ashe.

What does this famous tennis star have to do with holidays? Read on, Word Nerds.

The family running squad… minus me! 🙁

On Thanksgiving morning this year, my family donned running shoes and turkey hats and headed down to the local Turkey Trot. Eleven members of the immediate and extended family ran, including a nephew I never thought would voluntarily tackle a 5K. Sadly, that eleven didn’t include me, one of the most enthusiastic runners in the clan. I’ve been nursing a hip injury since October and was not in shape to run the 10K I signed up for. Big disappointment, as I’d been looking forward to racing this new distance.

As I stood at the bottom of a hill on the course, waiting for runners to go by, I thought of a quote I found years ago, when I was looking for inspiration for the high school cross country team I coached. It came from Arthur Ashe, famous athlete and leader:

I don’t know the context for this this statement by Ashe, but I applied it that morning on the Turkey Trot course. I couldn’t run, but I took photos and cheered, and the smiles I received from family and strangers made up for my disappointment.

Now, in December, I’m applying it to Christmas. I’m using what I have (For me, that’s energy level. For someone else, it might be time or money.) and doing what I can for holiday preparation and gift giving. And that’s enough. If I don’t put up all the lights and garland from last year, it’s okay. If I don’t make all the recipes from previous holidays, we will live. Maybe someone else will prepare the cherry cheese pie this year. (Hint, hint!)

For every no I say to decorations, cookies, and invitations, I allow myself a yes to the things I value most about the holidays. That includes connecting with family and friends, decorating the house with lights to cheer me on dark winter days, and indulging in beautiful seasonal music. At a time when many have abandoned sending holiday cards, I still enjoy sending out a family photo and brief update. And I look forward to receiving the same from friends and family who are willing to share. For those who have decided the annual card ritual is too expensive or time consuming, I get that too. No judgement here. We are all doing what we can to enjoy the season.

This year, I’m paring down holiday tasks to those that allow me to spread joy without becoming overwhelmed. I hope you find that precious balance as well.

If you need more reasons to give yourself grace this season, read my thoughts on Celebrating a “scuffed” Christmas, or my Permission to simplify Christmas from years past.

For tips on forgiveness and dealing with family at the holidays, check out Kelly Corrigan’s essay

How do you stay sane during the holidays! Comment and let us know.

Happy holidays, and remember to:

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Arthur Ashe

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

How to encourage reading

Gift ideas for the holidays: My favorite books from 2024

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

Gift idea lists started floating around the Internet the week of Thanksgiving. I considered adding my own Word Nerd edition to the mix. But here’s the thing. The part of Christmas I dread, the part that makes me want to avoid leaving my home this time of year, is SHOPPING. COMMERCIALISM. That special December (or perhaps more accurately these days, October) pressure to buy the things.

I don’t need more things. In fact, the theme in my house for 2024 was “purge.” That theme will continue into 2025 because, well, we only got to the basement. :/ I’m guessing many of you also don’t need more stuff. However, one can never have too many books. Books can be shared, re-gifted, donated to the local library or free little library. Books offer education, inspiration, armchair travels, suspense, and laughter. Those sound like excellent gifts to me.

Favorites from a year of reading

I did better with my reading goals this year, quickly closing in on my 30 titles for 2024. Listening to audio books helps. (Yes, you doubters, that does count as reading!) I recommend several- click the links to read my reviews:

  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt: non-fiction about the role of the internet and social media in the emotional development of children. Lots of data and ideas worth considering.
  • Becoming Madam Secretary by Stephanie Dray: Historical fiction about the life of Frances Perkins, the first woman appointed to a US President’s Cabinet.
  • Those We Thought We Knew by David Joy: Fiction set in the mountains of North Carolina that unflinchingly and thoughtfully explores how racism affects communities.
  • The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World by John Mark Comer. Christian based self improvement
  • The Maid by Nita Prose: A funny fiction mystery – a good antidote to the seriousness of our times and my other reading!

Titles I’ve got my eye on for next year

My “to read” list grows with the exuberance of a two year old. But I’m not daunted. Next year, I hope to spend more time reading newsletters, Substack, quality journalism I’m willing to pay for, (like Cardinal News), and of course, books! Titles I’m looking forward to include:

  • The Pivot Year by Brianna Wiest (self help)
  • Patriot: A Memoir by Alexei Navalny (biography)
  • The Small and the Mighty: Twelve Unsung Americans Who Changed the Course of History, from the Founding to the Civil Rights Movement by Sharon McMahon (non fiction)
  • Benjamin Franklin: An American Life by Walter Issacson (biography)
  • More David Joy!

I’m excited and inspired by this list, but do you see the problem with it? Hardly any fiction. I need fiction recs! Please share in the comments or shoot me an email. I’m not a fan of space or sci fi so keep those to yourself. 😉

Shop for books responsibly

I’m newly irritated with Jeff Bezos, current owner of The Washington Post, for refusing to endorse a candidate in the 2024 Election in the name of objectivity. I suspect he actually was more concerned about the guy rolling into Washington in January than journalistic standards. Besides, I’m tired of his company taking over the world. So, I’m currently trying to divest from Amazon (for a person living in a rural community with few shopping options, this is hard.) If you buy books this holiday season, consider using Bookshop.org, a website that supports independent bookstores.

In that vein, please suggest viable replacements for Goodreads and Audible, also part of Amazon. 🙁

Happy reading and don’t sweat the shopping!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Who I Am

Words and books to lift your spirit

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

When I’m discouraged, I turn to words and books to offer consolation and inspiration. If personal circumstances, the coming of winter, or the state of politics and public affairs have you feeling drained or down, here are five book related tips for rising above.

Keep Going by Austin Kleon

This fun little book, easy to digest in bits, offers encouragement and insight to creatives, but Kleon’s collection of snippets is useful for anyone trying to keep up motivation. My favorite quote appears near the end, from the late, great Toni Morrison:

This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal. I know the world is bruised and bleeding, and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its malevolence. Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge- even wisdom. Like art.

Toni Morrison, in Keep Going by Austin Kleon

Praying with Mother Teresa by Susan Conroy

One of my favorite life quotes comes from Mother Teresa:

It is better to light a single candle then to curse the darkness.


I can’t find a direct attribution for this quote, but here is an interesting and inspiring article about Mother Teresa and The Power of One. The article advises, “…the wisdom of Mother Teresa applies even in a time of crisis. One thing at a time. One step at a time. One soul at a time. One conversation at a time. One work of mercy at a time. Do the one work of mercy that’s asked of you right now. Love your family, or help your friends, or do good to the stranger.”

When the work seems overwhelming, this is a great reminder of how to start.

Martin Luther King, Jr. and the arc of the moral universe

Recently on a podcast, I heard a historian quote MLK Jr. as he discussed war in the Middle East. He said:

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.

I find this attitude immensely comforting. And, as a Christian, I believe its true. But to really be moved, watch MLK deliver this line and others. I shiver listening to his hopeful words.

Learn more history

Speaking of MLK, in the past few weeks I’ve found consolation in learning more history and gaining perspective. Greedy, power hungry people have always been around to do awful things. (Exhibit A: Herod in the Gospel of Matthew.) Our job is to keep working against them. Our nation has faced division and challenges before. The Great Depression. McCarthyism. Vietnam. And that was just the 20th century. America has recovered. It will again.

I’m a huge fan of Stephanie Dray’s historical fiction. Check out here recent release, Becoming Madam Secretary, to learn more about one woman’s contributions to helping our country climb out of The Great Depression. To learn more about history, check out NPR’s Throughline Podcast. It explores many topics in American history and features a series called “We the People.” This examines each of the amendments to the US Constitution. Here’s the episode on The Second Amendment.

Action absorbs anxiety

Another great podcast for a time of distress is The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos. On World Mental Health Day October 2024, Dr. Santos gathered the “Titans of Happiness” to share their tips for staying calm and contented in challenging circumstances. One of her guests was Dan Harris, former TV anchor who now educates his followers about meditation with this 10% Happier podcast. He had the best quote of the episode:

Action could mean exercise. It could be volunteering to serve food to homeless in your city or working a shift at the local pregnancy center. It could be as simple as checking on a neighbor. Or, when you’re ready, it could be something slightly bigger, like choosing one issue you feel strongly about and getting involved with it. For me, that was running for school board in my little county. What might that look like for you?

I’d like to close with powerful words from Heather Cox Richardson, an American historian who currently teaches at Boston College. On Make Me Smart, she advised people concerned about the current American political climate:

You wake up and you just put one foot in front of the other and try to do the next right thing. And if enough of us wake up and do the next right thing for long enough, we turn it around.

We have a lot of humble, loving work to do in our country. I believe, one action at a time, we can get it done.

Do you?

Thanks for getting hopeful with me!

How to encourage reading/Who I Am

Every vote counts! A reminder from a one vote winner

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

A year ago at this time, I was passing out candy at football games and trunk or treats, greeting people with my campaign flyers, and getting to as many civic meetings as possible. I was running for local office.

I competed with three other candidates for the At Large School Board Seat, and the political party most dominant in my county had endorsed one of my opponents. School board seats are supposed to be non-partisan, but this type of endorsing went on all over Virginia. Concerned, but not daunted, I called on friends and acquaintances, and even my introvert husband, and together, we spread my image and message across the county. Election Day involved a spreadsheet of volunteers and a tour to the 12 different voting precincts in my county to pitch myself to strangers. I smiled nonstop from 7am to 7pm.

But my campaign didn’t end on Election Day. The work did, but the waiting just began. At 9pm on Election night, I sat in front of my laptop watching results on the Virginia elections site. First I climbed up, then I feel behind my opponents. By 10, I took my husband’s advice, turned off the laptop, and went to bed.

The next day, it looked like I had won by 99 votes. The day after that, I got a call from the county registrar. The county had tallied votes correctly, but Richmond made a mistake recording our county votes, and I was suddenly behind. And not all of the absentee ballots had been cast. By the next week, after all mail-in ballots were counted, I led my opponent by a handful of votes. He called for a recount. I didn’t blame him. I would have done the same.

So, on a morning in December, I gathered in the basement of the county court building with election officials, the clerk of court and his staff, and a panel of three judges for the recount. I also was allowed to bring two friends who could observe the counting for me and speak on my behalf. The recount took more than seven hours. My opponent was there and also had ballot observers with him.

A few ballots were contested. In both cases, the voter had put a mark by more than one candidate for the same office on the ballot. What had the voter intended?

The election volunteers and officials did an excellent job of attending to detail and keeping things impartial and fair. In the end,

I won by a single vote.

That’s right. One.

Me, getting sworn in by the judge who dubbed me “Landslide.” 😉

To those of you tired of hearing about swing states, polls, and the Electoral College, let me assure you of this: YOUR VOTE MATTERS. Especially for local and state politics. Please, please, educate yourself, make a plan, and vote this election.

I learned a lot during my campaign, both about the power of local political parties and how many mistakes people make on ballots. Fill in the entire box. Choose only one candidate. Direct questions to your local election officials.

And lemme say it one more time…

Every vote counts! Including yours. Vote!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Improving vocabulary

What you should know about the term “Fascism”

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

Politicians and pundits have tossed around big words this week, including “fascist.” Unfortunately, those same pundits and politicians don’t explain words in nuanced terms, which can leave many of us confused or misinformed. Recently I explored the etymology of “incumbent.” This week, let’s dive into “fascism.”

The origins of fascism – the word

According to Merriam-Webster, the term fascism arises from the Italian word fascio (plural fasci), which literally means bundle and can figuratively mean group. In ancient Rome, officers carried bundles of rods with an ax head attached to clear the way for magistrates. Starting in the late 1800s, fascio or fasci was used to name labor and agrarian unions. In the early 20th century, dictator Benito Mussolini climbed to power, and the members of his political party were called fascisti in Italian. The fascisti used fasces, bundles of rods connected to an ax, to symbolize Italians united and obedient to the authority of the state.

As the result of Mussolini’s influence, fascism entered English as a term to describe a political philosophy or regime that favors nation or race above individuals. A fascist country is usually run by a dictator who imposes a severe social and economic structure and suppresses opposition. Fascism can also describe a tendency toward strong dictatorial control. Here’s the important part to grasp: in a fascist country, a dictator controls the lives of the people and does not tolerate dissent. The regime also tends to favor far right political perspectives and a nationalist agenda. Many fascist dictators held power in the early to mid 20th century, including Fransisco Franco in Spain, Mussolini in Italy, and Adolf Hitler in Germany.

Knowledge is power

I was shocked to learn that fascist parties have existed in the United States. In the late 1930s, several pro-German groups with fascist ideology formed in the states, and one group, the Silver Legion of America, got a fascist candidate for president on a third party ticket. Once Germany declared war on the US in 1941, the group was outlawed.

Words, and their history, are important. I hope you’ve learned something today and will share it during this election.

If you’d like to learn more about fascism, visit these sites:

What other politically charged words are you interested in? I promise to tackle “filibuster” soon!

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!

Improving vocabulary

How the football game got its name: a history

Posted on by Julia Tomiak / 1 Comment

We wonder things in my family. We wonder why a hamburger is called that when it doesn’t (usually) have any ham. We wonder why a soccer field is called a pitch. And, we wonder why football is called football since players use their hands to play. I spent the weekend with American football games blaring in the background, (My goodness, a lot of people were at that Tennessee game!), and now I must answer this question about the origin of the game “football.”

The origins of football

American football grew out of a group of games broadly called football that required teams to move a ball to a target using the feet. From that broad category, two games most often receive for the development of American football: soccer and rugby. Their names have an interesting history.

Soccer was originally called “association football.” Newspapers covering the sport shortened the name to “assoc.” In the 1870s, college men fond of playful slang, especially young men at Oxford, liked to shorten words and add “-er.” So breakfast became “brekker.” Assoc was shortened to soc and er was added, leading to soccer, which was first recorded as “socker” in 1891.

Rugby was another football game, but in 1821, a player named William Webb Ellis made a fundamental change to the sport. Instead of kicking the game ball over a goal line, he picked the ball up and ran over it. This significant play happened during a game at Rugby School, and thus the game of Rugby was born.

American football gets its start

Soccer and rugby came to the United States during the 19th century, and a hybrid of these two games morphed into what we now call football. The first football game played in the US was between Rutgers and Princeton in 1869. The match had few rules and was more chaotic than the highly technical game we watch now. In the 1880s, Walter Camp, known as “The Father of American Football,” introduced changes to make the game unique and also more safe.

Camp got rid of the chaotic scrum and added the line of scrimmage. He also added the concept of downs, which increased the strategic component of the game. Scoring methods changed under Camp’s direction, with different points awarded for a touchdown, field goal, or safety. This increased the need for planning and strategy.

Moving into the 1900s, players started wearing protective equipment, including helmets and pads. In 1906, the forward pass became a part of the game, in part to address continuing concern about player safety and the dangers of tackling. (Interesting to note that safety has been an issue from the start of the game.)

Close ties to rugby

American football has more in common with rugby than soccer. The games use similar strategy to advance a ball on a field and require robust tackles and physicality. The oblong shape of a football comes from rugby, as well as the basis of scoring.

As the daughter and granddaughter of avid Green Bay Packers fans, I understand football and most of its complicated rules, including the downs and the penalties. But over the years, I’ve developed a skepticism of the sport in general, particularly over concerns about its safety (after reading Concussion by Jeanne Marie Laskas) and a distaste for the aggressive and at times sexist and racist overtones of the sport. But I am glad to learn how it got its name and how it is different from soccer, my favorite sport. (Which also requires strategy and physical strength, without all the stoppage time and time outs. Just sayin’ 😉 )

For more details about the history of football and how it got its name, visit:

Who’s watching football this season?

Thanks for getting nerdy with me!